Wife filed restraining order against me, after 16 years of marriage, claiming abuse over years, and that she wanted to find herself, we have 2 kids,
Got me basically kicked out on the street.
Can have no contact with her, and none with kids until approved.
Found out today that wife said she went out on date for 1st time in 17 years, since found out she has probably been seeing someone for month or months, works with her.
Restraining order has been in affect 18 days.
Help me out with a plan.
Plan A, Plan B, Plan 9 ?
Remember I can not contact my wife or I go to jail.

Hopeless?

Just to add
Remember she has everything now, kids, house, new man?, dogs, cats, rat, I have nothing .. but a flatter stomach......................me no eat

Robertc:

I'm REALLY sorry about this. The RO is in place, so you really can't effect any plan, or you'll probably get arrested. Getting arrested isn't an attractive thing -- so don't violate the order.

Read all the material at this site!

Start working on yourself first. Do some soul searching and think about what might validate some of her allegations of abuse. Work on improving yourself.

If she cited emotional abuse -- that's almost certain -- it's usually about LB's like demands, judgments, etc. If it's more, like violent outbursts -- get some help.

Consider going to therapy now. It's a positive move for you to get a handle on things, and it proves you're willing to get help for whatever the problems really are. It shows initiative to better yourself. Take up an inexpensive hobby, learn to play an instrument -- reinvent yourself. You'll have some mystery that way.

The relationship your W has with this new man isn't likely to last too long. Normally, 6 months but no guarantee. You can accomplish a lot of self-improvement in that time period.

OM's chasing married women aren't particularly trustworthy, and it will take some time before she sees that. Once his demands for sex and time kick in, she'll realize that she traded something for nothing.

The new you is the comfortable you with new improvements -- if you are up to the challenge. It's not going to be easy. You just left for a long roller coaster ride.

She wasn't happy, but kicking you out without working on her marriage is just plain selfish.

Also, from my perspective -- you need to get right with God before you can have a healthy relationship. Once you surrender to God, you'll realize that even this terrible event can have a positive effect on you, if you trust Him. God always takes care of us, even during the rough times. Understanding how He loves you, will teach you how to love your W.

Going to church is a positive step. Just pick a good church with lots of loving people. All churches are not the same. Find one where you feel welcome right away. Listen to the Word, you'll start to feel better.

God doesn't want you to get divorced. He wants you to grow and become better. God is good. He is always right. If we concentrate on doing what God wants us to do, instead of just what WE WANT TO DO, we'll ALWAYS be right, by being obedient to God. That is a great lesson that many of us miss. Something to think about...

God Bles you and good luck!

Contact that father's right website and see if they can refer you to a good attorney that can fight for you tooth and nail for your rights as a father. As much as you may dislike this, your WW has declared war on you and unless you fight for your rights, you and your children will suffer the repercusions of this war.