So with Plan B you make the threat that if it doesn’t end you move out…I
You don't threaten. Learn MB principles and even while in Plan A/B, you implement everything as best you can, including not making selfish demands (threats.)
You set a goal/date of when you think you should go into Plan B. This date is not set in stone and you NEVER tell your ws if/when it is. This gives you the option to extend it if needed. If you give a date, then it's almost like telling the ws that it is okay to screw around until xxx-date.
When the date gets close, you evaluate the situation and decide if you want to extend Plan A or go to Plan B.
If it's Plan B, then you start making arrangements for it to happen, including where to go if ws does not move out. I believe you should ask them to go first as ithe family home should be maintained if at all possible, especially for the children.
Personally, I feel the betrayed spouse should ALWAYS have the children when going to Plan B. You can probably expect the op to move in with ws or at least play a much bigger role in their life and I recommend (as do others) keeping the children away from the op AT ALL COSTS!
You are trying to raise them as best you can. The ws is not teaching any morals about infidelity so it is up to you to do it.
I would want to take them with me…but there would be no way to do that…
So if a divorce happens, you expect to NOT have any custody?
It may be difficult, but you wanted children. They should be your #1 concern right now and you should do everything in your power to ensure their well-being and proper upbringing.
<small>[ February 13, 2003, 11:49 PM: Message edited by: Chris (CA123) ]</small>
