Well, my WW moved out last year. She said she needed time to get her head together. 6-months later of a ton of Plan-Aing by myself, she said she still wasn't sure. During this time she had been spending time with me, movie dates and dinners. Nothing heavy, just enjoying each other's company. Just being together, you know.

It something about it seemed a bit like cake-eating in a way... I ignored those feelings.

At the end of January *I* told her my decision. I love her, but it's over. I wrote a loving Plan-B letter and to my pleasant surprise she reacted with poise and maturity, admitting the wayward behavior was wrong and that she appreciated my letter and open invitation to try again in a few months time (but no speaking until she was serious about us).

Fast-forward to a week later when she is packing her things at home. She calls me at work sobbing and crying that she doesn't want to go. Furthermore, she does want to come home. We make arrangements to speak over dinner wherein we talk openly and honestly. We make plans to move her back in. I rent a truck the next day. But her apartment requires 30 days notice so she has to stay 1 more month. No problem.

Flash-forward two weeks (get ready to puke your guts out). On the freeway my brother sees some guy driving her car with her in the passenger seat. The OM from last year. I call her and confront her with this. She admits to still seeing OM.

I tell her for the last time to get her things out of the house. The Plan-B is over. This is Plan-F; she FAILED. And she's still calling asking me if I'm serious. She's actually trying
to make me feel guilty or to feel sympathy for her.

What a dolt (and happily this time it's NOT me).
It sucks. The only thing I really feel toward her is being disappointed in her. But I'll be fine. You guys and girls here have helped me a lot just by sharing your stories.

I'm grateful for that.

like_iron I am so sorry about your situation, and I wish you only the best in life.

Despite your setback, I hope that you do not throw away the knowledge you have gained here and in the Harley books. Keep growing in knowledge and you won't go wrong as a person.

Take good care of yourself and don't be a stranger.

I realize it is a little late, but: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> her apartment requires 30 days notice so she has to stay 1 more month. No problem. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Excuse me? That only means you have to pay for it, not that she has to stay there. One more demonstration of TMCM's admonition: Believe their actions, not their words.

Dreaded double post

<small>[ February 27, 2003, 07:05 AM: Message edited by: johnh39 ]</small>

Thanks you guys.

John: Yeah, I know. That was one of those odd feelings I had. But I wrote it off as another dumb lease-thing because her landlord had a rep for being an a-hole.

Coffeeman: I'll be around for sure (posting replies to help others) and don't worry I *will* remember the treasure of lessons I learned through this site and the experience of coping with a WW. I understand that the problem was hers. I owe a lot to you and others here because of your guidance/advice I never did cry, yell or scream, or anything when I have talked to her. But I also didn't avoid telling the truth, though not being judgemental, admitting my faults, etc., and always being strong (but not 'hard') and positive. So *I* really don't feel bad. It was just a dumb and lazy way she ruined our marriage, in my opinion. It was a workplace-A, and the bottom line is that I got traded for a guy in his thirties who works part-time in retail and still lives with his mom.

Sheesh!