Posted many times last month, due to wife getting restraining order and getting me thrown out of house, have only talked to her a couple of times, and each time she seems to call police.
She filed for divorce right after restraining order, she i-s keeping children I raised away from me for extended periods. She is seeing man she met at work, possibly traveled places together, he is also spending lots of time with my kids and wife, I don't know if he has moved in to my house ( is this important for me to know? ) should I be asking in laws if he has, or does this matter?
I have been living with a friend and am now about to ge apartment, have been spending many hours at the gym, ( just feel sad when I'm about to leave and realize I don't have really any home to go to ) Hardest part is not seeing my 2 kids 5-9, is my wife causing irreversible damage to my relationship with them, how do I deal with this?
Have spoke with many people who have gone thru divorce, they can't beleive she is so mean.
( regarding kids ).
I guess I have been following plan a, taking care of myself, plan b is forced on me, no contact with wife allowed, do I just let the ball be in her court, and leave it up to her and the course of the divorce or what?
Many questions, fewer answers.
Robert

There is one plan for you, it is called "triage". Your WW is like my ex and SH told me to let her go and do anything within my power to protect myself ....

1. get lawyer and file for temporary child coustody, you will at least get 50% in most states unless she could prove that you are post a danger to your kid.
2. get lawyer to sit down with him to protect yourself as much as the law allows you to. If you could even counter sue with infedelity.
3. if your ww calls about how b@st@rd you are ... pledge ignorant and say that your lawyer is handling everything. Let your lawyer be the bad guys.
4. get a mind set, everything that you concede to her is used for OM & her not your kids, so be tough for the sake of your kid.
5. plan A is not a doormat !. plan A is not about being nice !. plan A is about you to show changes ... when WW rejects your plan A, you respect her decision and salvage what you can.
6. Never talk to her about R or beg her ... deep down WW knows she did wrong thing so she needs to keep you out ... you are her jimmy cricket, she needs to erase you so that her action is pallatable to her.

I feel sorry but I had been in your shoes and survive ... if you need to talk send me your#. I am Dv now but I am not broken. I am sad about what could have been but not about my ex.

"Tough Times Don't Last But Tough People Do"
-rh-