Hello everyone. I really need some advice because I am stuck and really am not sure what to do.

I only found out about the A last week and I have been doing Plan A, since with only a few LB's. He says that he has stopped seeing her and called me this morning to tell me "everything was going to be o.k." and "i just need to take care of a couple of things".

However, he has not spent the night in the house since I discovered the A. He comes over and spends some time with the kids, because he does not want them to know and then goes to a hotel down the road.

Last night before he left he was very confused and depressed acting but this afternoon he approached me aggressively and stated that he had talked with a "marriage counselor" today and that they said it would take 7 months of counseling and that we should be separated during that time!

I am not sure I believe that he has stopped all contact with the OW. He said he called her today and they both decided it wouldn't be fair to their spouses to continue while they were trying to work it out with their spouses. She is married also with 2 children He thinks he is in "love" and that he never loved me basically. I feel like he is torn because of the kids and he said he has not feelings for me.

Anyway, he was acting very angry toward me tonight, but I stilled tried gave him lots of understanding, conversation and support. This is torture!

So what should I do at this point, continue with plan A, even though he is basically trying to separate from me? For how long?

I gives me hope one second and the next turns on me, like I was the one that had the A.

Help! I really am not sure what to do next.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

distraughtmom,

First, there is no MC that won't take both side of the issue ... It is a bullsh!t. Call his bluff and told him that you would like to see this phantom MC. Remember ... DON'T LB'ed. Even you know that he lied about it, just tell him that you want to see this MC. Avoid angry outbust and choose your words carefully plus don't push it ... since 99% he will get mad and try to pick a fight ... let go but make him shut up about the 7 months separation. Why he did this ? He is addicted to OW and he will try to do anything to prolong this A.

Who else know about this A ? Does her husband know it ?. I sugest you call him or if you are not comfortable with it I would ask a one of your trusted member of family (brother) to call him and give him the news. You have to put some evidence since he might get angry at first.

Now, what are your plan A ?. Could you elaborate more ?. What are his excuse ?

Hang in there, find a support from a family member ... H is wayward and not you so you don't have to be ashamed of it. Avoid talking to non-family "male" friend about this. H is angry because you find out about the A !. It is a twisted logic but once you put it in term of addiction you will understand it well. Try to take a bottle of wiskey from an alcoholic ...

-rh-