I wrote this letter to my husband last night. I have thought it over and I think he is just holding on to us( his family ) in case this relationship of his w/OW will work out or not.
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Dear S,
I speak these words out of kindness and respect.
You are right, this will not work. I prefer it to work, but I don't think it will.
I respect the descion and I hope you will respect mine.
We have had a great 9 yrs. Not all the greatest, but all great. We grew up together. We were young and in love.
As you said things changed. We grew up maybe not on the same level, but we did what we needed to do.
I have learned alot in the last 6 weeks. How to do things to make me happy. I had forgotten how to do that.
I have enjoyed this time, because I can reflect on my life and I would not change a thing.
Things happen for a reason, and I hope to make the best of it.
I wish you luck on your adventure.
I will keep you in my heart always.
With Love, A
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Does anyone have coments or think I should add any thing. He is going away on a business trip this sunday and wanted him to get this before then.
Please let me know.
Thanks!!!

Hello doedoe. I don't know your situation totally but got a small grasp of it. If these words are what you feel from your heart then I think you've put together a letter that says simply what you want to say. I don't know if your intending this letter to be a wake up call for him or if your really ready to end the relationship, that your letting him go and might make him snap out of this insane hazy fog he is in, but I do know that when you lay it out on the line like this you have to be prepared for things to go either way. If this is really what you want to say then I think you've said a lot without having to say too much. In situations like this you don't have to overplay your feelings. Sometimes a little says a whole lot.

I know what, he is the WS, we lost touch of the EN after our son was 1, he found a "friend" who would do the things I was unable to do. I felt I needed to be a MOM, etc... They tried to hid everything but it got out, he left 6 wks ago and still comes to care for our son. I know what to expect. I just hope for the best... What ever it may be.
Should I cnage anything?
doe

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by doedoe1:
<strong>I know what, he is the WS, we lost touch of the EN after our son was 1, he found a "friend" who would do the things I was unable to do. I felt I needed to be a MOM, etc... They tried to hid everything but it got out, he left 6 wks ago and still comes to care for our son. I know what to expect. I just hope for the best... What ever it may be.
Should I cnage anything?
doe</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, don't give it to him. I would read this letter as giving up on M and wave a white flag. Is that what you want <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> .

-rh-

No, but I can only do somuch, I signed up for MC w/ this site starting next week. I hurt down deep because I trul;y believe that he is my sole mate, we were always aroumd each other as childrens and did not know it, we met when we were 18/19 fell in love, 1 st for him, I had BF in HS. I feel so alone and have a hard time with our son, mainley because he is so young and does not understand why daddy is not @ home w/ us. I guess I need to know what to do. Please help before I loose my mind. I love him but can't see living my life w/o my soulmate!!!

doedoe1,

You did the right thing by signing up with SH or Jennifer. You will have no doubt and no regret on whatever the outcome is. Please do nothing about your WH until you talk to SH or Jennifer.

I would read basic concept, all the link associated with general welcome and as much as you can to understand MB !. You need it, it would save you money and time when you get your first session going. I would get ready for next week session. Write down his complaints about you in this M, next write next to each of them what actions you have to do to show your WH that you could change. Print out LBQ and ENQ, fill it as if your WH fillin it. Write down detail of how this mess get started. You need all three of them to discuss it in your session. Be close to fax or computer so that you could send it to MB.

Meanwhile concentrate on your kid. Don't change his daily routine, stability is what he needs now and you could offer him that. About why his dad not home, just tell him to ask his dad when he is around.

Hang in there, get medication if you need it. I got paxil from my doctor to calm me down. This 'coaster ride is the ride of your life, buckle up and get support anyway you can.

-rh-

should I send him the old letter from TRUEHEART, the one to the WS. I cried and still cry now, i saved it to my computer.
Thanks for the nice coments, it makes one feel better, when they feel alone in all of this!!!

Sorry ... do nothing about WH. I know it is hard but WH is not at the same page as you right now, nothing you could do to influence or change his mind right now. I had been there and my exW is my first, even my first kiss !. Yes, this website is a blessing and please tell SH & Jennifer that we are all appreciate what Harleys has done providing this forum for all of us. God Bless their heart.

Waiting is doing something, a very hard one.

-rh-

Ok, I will do nothing, Just keep smiling When I see him and play hard when he is not around, keeping in a good mood, drives him crazy, he has asked my a few times wht I'm in such a good mood. May be one day it can be contagious to him.
Thanks.