When does recovery actually start?? After the withdrawal from the OW?? Or when my WH called to tell me he wants to come home?? He's a trucker and announced to me on Wed night that he contacted her ("violation" of plan A!) He said they "discussed their relationship", and realized that it would NOT work. It was a "mutual" decision to terminate the affair, even though we had implemented Plan A last weekend and he had written her a letter.

My other question....How do I get over the feeling that I am "runner up"?? Right now, I feel like he is only coming home to me because the OW told him on Wednesday that she is already seeing someone else!! I had asked him why he called her that night, to "continue" or "end" and he said that he didn't really know what his intent was when he called her. But after their conversation and her revelation about someone new in her life, he knew that it was OVER.

I hope that now he can see what type of a person she really was and that she was only using him until someone else came along.

Also, if anyone has any advice for working on recovery while being separated during the week I would appreciate it. I feel like we had a Plan A/Plan B mixture because he was gone but we still talked every day. And it is VERY difficult to try and talk to him when he is driving through traffic, plus it's just not safe. I want to be able to work on the issues on the weekend but I don't want to go overboard and overhelm the Heck out of him every time he comes home either. He will just avoid me if I do that. I wish I could take back the last 2 years of our sour marriage and fix it then... Wish I knew about marriage builders back then too...HN/HN would have helped tremendously.