After 6 months of separation, during which time I was in plan A, the time has come for a plan B, but I am in a stage when I do not want the plan B.
My wife is in another city with her new lover, she lied to my about him and her stay there. She is completely uncommited to our marriage and is already talking legal papers. I think that Plan B is useless. I am going to ask her to separate our assets immediately after she comes back and wait another 5 months for our separation to be for 1 full year and divorcing her immediately after that. I want to move out of this city, start new life asap.

I would like to extend my thanks to all people who contributed to my posts, who tried to encourage me and who gave me a lot of great advice. Thanks again.
MTheart

MTheart,

I agree with you ... no one want this WS that has A still in your face. Having said this, may ask you a question that you have to answer it honestly.

What if WW is willing to stop A and follow it with NC and go to MC ... and come back home. Are you willing to take her back ?. If the answer is yes or I am not sure ... IMVHO. You should send plan B letter. You run like hell and never look back (plan C), if you say I will never want my WW back and I rather start over with someone new.

You don't based you decision on "if she would" but "if she could".

-rh-

<small>[ March 27, 2003, 04:53 PM: Message edited by: redhat ]</small>

Well, Redhat, I hate to say it but I think you are right.
I am not sure, if she is fully commited to recreate our marriage, that I would not want her back again. Even though we have no kids, the whole marriage for me is like a kid that I am fighting for. There is so much in it, my whole adult life. Having said that I do not feel like sending a letter that would spell:" I love you, but I am going my way, because you have chosen someone else". I am sooo angry at her. Yesterday was my birthday, she did not call, sent e-mail or a card, nothing. That shows a total disrespect for me. And that is why I have no desire to be sugar coated with her. Just recently she was in a store with me and she was picking up a custrom made birthday t-shirt for a guy who she had known for maybe six months. She was so particular to pick the right one, it took her an hour to choose. So I guess you know where I am in her heart.

On the other hand I know that I can make her affair miserable by saying the things that are in a standard letter B. She wants me to be a SOB so she can forget me and say to herself that she made the right decision, she wants to validate her leaving. Also, my anger is somehow being replaced with the wisdom and calm that I have gained by reading books, attending MC and staying for hours at this web site.

What kind of stuff should be in a letter B in my case?

MTheart,

Follow standard plan B ... tough if she get hurt !. The purpose of plan B letter is letting WW to stare directly at A ans compare the price that she is paying for it. Think about it for a few day since you are hurt by her action not long ago. Don't waste a good plan A, close it with plan B. It will take a while finishing up plan B letter anyway.

-rh-