I could use some advice now.

I am ready to move on to plan B, I am working on a letter.
I now how a plan B letter should look like, but I have few questions regarding our assets.
Should I mention in the letter that I expect her to make up a list of thing she would like to take.
Also should I ask in the letter for credit cards, bank cards, keys from apartment?
Thanks

Please post the letter here before you send it.

Also should I ask in the letter for credit cards, bank cards, keys from apartment?
I recommend you cancel ANY joint credit/bank cards. Call & write a letter to the bank/credit card co. The balance is still payable but there cannot be any new transactions. Get new card in your name only.
Yes, ask her for the key back, but do it previous to sending the letter.

Well I have already sent it.
Her reaction was that she wanted to see me to discuss things, I agreed and she started with divorce right from the bat. She said she wants it, I said fine, if that is what you want I agree.But then her attitude changed, I just told her what I found out about her lieing to me about all the different guys, also I mentioned that her recent affair prompted me to do so, she denied that at the beginning but after a load of evidence she admitted it. Then started to talk logistics, about plan B, dividing assets, money etc. Still she told me that the new guy looks just like me, and is also as nice as I used to be, but she says she cannot forget me, she sees me in him. I told her I do not want a divorce, but want a plan B, I can see her still angry, and she admitted to having second thoughts already. She misses the history we had plus the guy is of different first language than me or my wife, it bothers her apparently. I said I do not want divorce, lets just split all the things, sign a separation papers and wait. I said I still belive in us, she asked me if when she comes back, I will fogive her and forget and never mention it again. I said it will depend on you, if you come to me with an open heart and will to start to consider our marriage priority, we can start rebuildung it. But she has to cut all the contacts with the other man first.
As I told her that I want nothing but truth from now on, she agreed. No more lies. SO she mentioned that other guy again but she does not know what the outcome will be. She asked about a time frame when she is supposed to know, I said I
do not know, all I know it is not unlimited, the longer she waits the harder it gets.

How did I do? Any input is appreciated.

" she asked me if when she comes back, I will fogive her and forget and never mention it again."

This statement suggests to her that she can continue her affair and if it does not work out you will get her back by default. In other words, she has nothing to really worry about since you will be her safety net if the affair partners don't want to marry her. Telling her you don't want a divorce and that you are willing to put up with this nonsense puts you into a very weak position. In my opinion, if she saw that you have reached a point where you are ready to move on without her it is going to have more impact and make her think about reconciling.

I think that Tomaz is exactly right. What you have done is to enable her to continue her sexual affair without any consequences. When she gets tired of it or when he breaks up with her she knows that you will be Mr. Standby and accept your roles as Mr. Doorprize. How great for her that she can live and have sex with another man and always have you as a safety net in case it does not work out. You remain on hold while she gets to play house with her OM. She does not have to make any decision and gets to play house without consequences. I agree with Tomaz that you should stop this nonsense and move toward divorce.
I have a hunch she would come out of her fog quickly and the OM would probably leave her.

How do you think she would respond if the roles were reversed and you told her I am glad that you
will wait for me while I live and have sex with my female lover. If it does not work out I will come back to you but you cannot bring it up if I do? I am sure your wife would laugh in your face.
"No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change". In short, as long as you are her safety net she can play house with someone else and know you will be there waiting for her if it does not work out. Does this really make sense to you?

As tomaz & Brianp pointed out she is still in the fog but I disagree w/ tomaz & Brianp advice. She was in the fog and she is still in the fog. Your Plan A didn't bring her out, now you have to use plan B but not Dv yet. You are doing good. You are doing good not to answer her directly on "what if" but demand NC and ends A. This is plan B is all about. You should not get separation but since you agreed to it already, procced with it. Enforced plan B and avoid contact with her. Next time don't entertain her unless she agrees the your conditions as stated in plan B.

You don't try to read between the lines (as tomaz & Brianp suggested) but take it literally and pay attention on her actions. All BS wants WS come to us crawling and begging ... as we know not all WS would. Plan B is not about going to Dv or punish WS, it is about you to give you time to make final decision while wait for your LB$ to be drained.

-rh-

Thank you for your responses Tomaz, Brianp and redhat.
It is sometimes hard to write in detail the whole story of my marriage. I can see that responses by Tomaz and Brianp are based on the very end of it. I know exactly what pain I caused my wife throughout those years. I am not excusing her affair, I know that it is a poor response to marital troubles, tastless and cruel. Nevertheless I am still holding a very little hope of reconcilliation. I should correct myself, I have never said my wife I "will" take her back, in fact I did not discuss this in a detail. I mentioned there is a possibility. I said, you end it with him, and we can then talk, the outcome could still be divorce, and I am at the point where I would say that that is the only outcome at this point.
I have to say I am at the best shape as I have been for a long time, mentally and physically. All of a sudden I feel in control of my destiny, I am no longer waiting, no longer putting up with bull**** of "I do not know what I want yet".
I do not want my WW to come back crawling, it is not a relationship. All I want to see that she truly regrets what had happened, then I will decide what to do. In the meantime I am going on with my life, my plan B is there for me to execute it.