IAM A BS, MY HUSBAND LEFT TO LIVE WITH THE OW,ALTHOUGH HE HAS DENIED LIVING WITH HER OR HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH HER UNTIL RECENTLY.THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.ONE DAY HE LOVES ME, THE NEXT HE'S GONE BACK TO HER, WE'VE GONE THRU THIS SINCE DEC.2002. HE STARTED GOING BACK TO CHURCH WITH ME AND HIS DAUGHTERS ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO,AND I REALLY BELIEVE THAT THE LORD IS WORKING ON HIM. WE TALKED YESTERDAY AND HE ADMITTED THE AFFAIR AND TOLD ME THE REASON HE LIED IS BECAUSE HE DIDN'T WANT ME TO KNOW OR HURT ME ANYMORE,HE SAYS ITS OVER WITH HER BUT HE'S STILL NOT READY TO COME HOME, WE HAVE AGREED TO COUNSELING(SOMETHING I NEVER THOUGHT HE WOULD DO)I'M STILL JUST SO CONFUSED,HE CRIED WHEN WE TALKED AND TOLD ME HE LOVES ME THAT IT HAD ALWAYS BEEN ME, AND THAT HE FEELS GUILTY FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE,MY QUESTION IS, THERE ARE STILL THINGS I THINK I NEED TO KNOW,HOW DO I GO ABOUT THIS WITHOUT ANY MAJOR LB. DO WE(BS) HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE AFFAIR BEFORE RECOVERY CAN BEGIN? WHY ISN'T HE READY TO COME HOME? HAS ANYONE ELSE DEALT WITH THIS? I COULD SURE USE YOUR ADVICE

Don't let him back yet. I did and it was a mistake. READ, READ, READ!
Love Busters, order two coppies. One for you and one for him.
You need this time alone. Trust me. I know you are afraid of losing him, but you don't want to continue this way right? Get off the roller coaster. Set boundries!

Aly

lissy,

Read how should A end ? and until WH is willing to commit on M you should not take him back. Put your boundry and it is not to punish him but to protect yourself from him.

Recovery begin when A had ended and willing to work on M based on 4 rules of recovery. Actually get 2 copy of SAA not Love Busters.

-rh-

I agree with the others. Click on the link in my signature line for some more details on the path to recovery.