In my heart, my sending letter to WS was the right thing to do. I allowed myself to be manipulated, vacillating between hope and despair and suffer humiliation. Today was pretty much all that I could take. Yesterday he contacted me at work asking me if I would like to have dinner; go out and relax. He stated that he was making a "deposit" in our bank. I felt pretty good, but very cautious. Today he calls up, asks as to how the children are, and never mentions dinner. He hangs up the phone and that's that. I was stunned for a moment. Then, without overreacting, I did something that I should have done three months ago. I acted for myself. I sent the letter to him at work, as I do not have his home address. I know it could have been seen by another co-worker, but you know, at this point, my hurt, anger and weariness is just too consuming to worry about his feelings at the moment. Yet, as the day wanes, I'm starting to feel sad. Sad for the loss of our friendship, our relationship and the possibilities that we can ever put it back together. I know that you will think I'm a defeatist, however, I think my husband just isn't nervy enough to terminate the marriage. It is disheartening, but how long could I do this without harming myself.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by karena:
<strong>It is disheartening, but how long could I do this without harming myself.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are not "defeatist" or "looser", you love your M and your WH so much and it shows. Plan A is not for sissy !, even the toughest lady might not able to do what you have done !. Yes, the hardest part of plan A is keeping your taker to shows up ! since in plan A you have to give unconditionally. One this might help you to do plan A is to get focus and unfocus !. Focus on tackeling his complaint about you in M one by one and give yourself time frame to achive it. Unfocus by getting busy such as posting here to help other <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> , getting in shape by going to gymn. It might help you to prolong your plan A ... but when you have no more to do actions, it is time to decide for going to plan B.

-rh-

Good for you, Karena!

That took a lot of courage to do what you did. Now take a deep breath and pat your yourself on the back for a job well done.

Good luck with everything.