Well - my husband is soo depressed. He just sat here this morning and sobbed his heart out. We were supossed to go to counselling this morning but he went to work instead. Counsellor told me that there was nothing I could do to make H happy. He needs to be happy within first. He is not. Counsellor said the A was the worst thing that H could have done to himself. (Duh). Anyway, H. says that he needs time by him self to think. He says that he is not going to leave his family to puruse another relationship. (good sign???). I told him that he needs antidepressants but I told him that this morning a couple of times. I said that I would be supportive of him, wait for him to sort out his feelings and be there when he comes back. He says coming home right now is a huge stress for him. Counsellor seems to think he is on the verge of a breakdown of sorts. We plan on telling our 14 year old daughter tonight. That is going to be soo painful for her. She idolizes her dad. Apparently I am doing the right things. I have a headache from hell right now, and feel like puking. The counsellor said that if he does leave and is actually doing it for the right reason, to be by himself that he might start to miss me and our daughter and have an awakening of sorts. I can only hope. I just feel so devastated about the whole thing. My daughter's world as well as mine going to be turned upside down. Why is it that I cant have the time to myself to sort out things. I have to deal with my child and myself. I have to be in the home that we have just built and be surrounded with the memories. It hurts severely.

I will let my H leave. I have told him about getting help for depression, now I sit and wait, again. Any thoughts from anyone out there???? I am really desparate feeling right now. How do I tell my family, friends,??? or do I tell them anything. If H is away for any length of time people will figure out I am sure. Depression runs in his family and I am not sure I should tell his brothers, father, mother about this and maybe they can help him??

Just feeling so lost, I love my H and cant have him. He has changed. A did that to him apparently, as well as mid life crisis (42). I think I will skip the midlife crisis when I turn 40 this year. I think I will take a trip to the sunny south. Men suck (sorry for you men out there who are reading this, dont take it personally, it really just is my H that sucks right now).

Oh, how much I agree with YOU at the moment. Hello, I'm trying to implement Plan B, but all we seem to do is argue more.

My husband doesn't want ME, but he wants the security of his family and wants his cake and eat it too. For example, this is a winner.....he supposedly ends his EA/PA with a co-worker. Instead of making every attempt to work his way back home (which he claims he is doing...right, ha), he chooses to rent a hotel room and live there for a bit. When money runs out, he doesn't rethink about what he is doing to his family, he goes and moves in with his ex-wife. Isn't that just the kicker. I was so hurt last night. After all, for 15 years, all I hear is that he hated her, she this, she that, etc., etc. So, instead of coming home...well, no use repeating myself. But, it gets better.

My H supposidly does not want to pursue any other relationship while he is away from his family. that what he says. I am sure he hates himself right now and cant find the light at tne end of the tunnel (or barrell) that he is in. We have not argued about this, actually talked quite amicably about the whole thing. He just keeps crying uncontrollably. I have a f#$%king headache right now and cant thing straight, knowing that the man I love is not going to be here anymore. I hope he misses me and comes back. I can only hope at this point and pray.

Just because he is lewaving does not mean you must go into Plan B and I would advise againstit at this point.

He says that he is not going to leave his family to puruse another relationship. (good sign???).
Don't fret over it. He likely IS going to see the ow lots more now. To the ws, they are not leaving the family, just seeing the op more. (It's gobbledy-[censored] talk. Don't try to understand it.)

Chris,
I wish someone had explained it to me as gobbledy - [censored] talk a long time ago and I would have saved a lot of crying!!! Although crying does help sometimes.....I think it is hard to see while it is going on, that it really is crazy, and that as a BS, we need to realize that it is FOGGY talk!