I guess I'm ready for plan B. But I have some questions. Since hs affair is so free of responsibility and I'm the one at home taking care of all the responsibilities (kids, home, etc.) wouldn't asking him to leave be giving him everything he wants? I feel that I should leave so that he can experience all the responsibility & loneliness, and have to deal with the pain he is causing the kids. It would also allow him to hold onto his job, which we need for pure financial survival. Please help.

If you leave your home and the kids remain with him, he MAY use this against you if he decides to initiate divorce proceedings. Leaving the home, in many States, is considered abandonment and you may end up losing custody of your kids later on. Unless you're ok with this possible outcome, my humble suggestion is for you to stay home and let him leave.

Sure it sucks for you to be the one stuck with all the responsibility of the kids and home, while he goes out a parties like a carefree teenager (I should know), but life is a lot like revolving line of credit in that sooner or later we all have to pay up.

Ideally the wayward spouse should move out but you should not be even considering Plan B at this time. Late August should be around your timeframe.

It would also allow him to hold onto his job, which we need for pure financial survival.
But you would be one less person having any money from him as you do not take his money in Plan B.

Read up on What Are Plan A and Plan B?, How to Create Your Own Plan to Resolve Conflicts and Restore Love to Your Marriage, How to Overcome Love Busters and Dr Harley's Basic Concepts

OK, I've rethought Plan B... but how do I deal with the constant tug of war... the back and forth... the not being sure from one day to the next. It is killing me inside. I'm on the verge of quitting my job because I can't seem to function on a daily basis. My kids are suffering, I've had many suicidal thoughts (the kids being the only thing that's stopped me.) How do I let him keep hurting me and not allow it to desroy my love for him? Please help me.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by TessAngel:
<strong>OK, I've rethought Plan B... but how do I deal with the constant tug of war... the back and forth... the not being sure from one day to the next. It is killing me inside. I'm on the verge of quitting my job because I can't seem to function on a daily basis. My kids are suffering, I've had many suicidal thoughts (the kids being the only thing that's stopped me.) How do I let him keep hurting me and not allow it to desroy my love for him? Please help me.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Go to a doctor and have her/him prescribe you anti-depresants. Harley has recommended the use of them to help the BS deal with the emotional rollercoaster that the A causes.

Another idea is for you to find another place to live WITH your kids and leave him with your plan B letter.

leave him with your plan B letter.
Yes that is what you do when you go to Plan B but it is NOT something she should be doing yet.