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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 15 |
I am getting married on 10/18/03. I just got a bombshell yesterday.... I recieved a Fed-ex leeter from a 22 year old girl (we are 33) that she gave birth to my fiance's daughter 10 months ago. She said that she has not contact with him, he has not seen the child. When she told him that she was pregnant, they agreed on abortion. He took her for the abortion and she didnt go thru w/it. He and I have been togehter for 7 years. We were broken up for a year (this is when this baby was conceived). I confronted him with the problem and he said that he was so sorry and that he was going to tell me about it. He is going to the courts to ask to be put on child support and ask for DNA. He said that he does not want to be a part of the child's life, just want to provide financial support. The kicker to the situation is that I have a 3month old son, who he is a terrific father to , he also has a 13 year old whom we have custody of. I am so lost and confused, what should I do??
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733 |
helpless33,
This is my 2¢. Soo far if he is telling the truth, he is doing it the right way. In MB, he should not have contact with OC but financial only. Now I have question on you, is he the father of the 3 months boy ?. How is his behavior lately ? is he open to counseling ?
-rh-
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 15 |
He is the father of our 3 month old, we decided on having ababy when we got back togehter...we were apart for a year and some months when he conceived this other child....to be honest, I don't care if he doesn't provide emotional support for the OC...he called the girl yesterday and told her he is requesting DNA and he will pay support but stay out of our lives
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733 |
helpless33,
I don't think you are in helpless situation. He deals the OC problem like text book and willing to let OW go. I would get him to write NC with OW and please support him on what he is doing. This is very crucial to the recovery process.
Make sure you read HNHN together. Get counseling if you can't be DoItYourSelfMBer. Start with ENQ, LBQ then finish up all the other Qs. If both of you willing to do 4 gifts of love and to receive it ... you could survive this and find a fullfiling M. The key is willing !.
If you are jitters about your R inlight of this issue, delay your wedding. However 5.5 months will give you plenty enough to learn falling inlove again to each other.
-rh-
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