As I write this, my H is on his way back to town after, I believe, spending the weekend with the OW. She lives 2.5 hours away. He moved out April 1, to "sort out his feelings" and decide what he wanted.

I have left him a voicemail message on his cell to call me, that I have something important to talk to him about. I want him to come over and I will give him the Plan B letter. It scares me; I fear it will be permanent. He has certainly become very comfy with living apart and having the freedom to see the OW. He actually made me believe the reason he was away was to give concentrated, quality time, to studying the MB materials and books we have purchased. Right!!

Jennifer Chalmers, MB Counseling, has been talking to us for a couple of months. The frightening thing is that he has lied to her as well, telling her there was no contact with the OW, that the affair had ended.

So tonight will be the introduction of Plan B. I am shaking like a leaf at the prospexr, bur I have to do it. Despite the pain I feel from being separated, the recently uncovered knowledge that he is continuing to lie to me and see the OW is even worse.

What do we do about MB Counseling? Obviously in Plan B, we aren't supposed to see or talk to each other, so do we continue counseling apart? He may not even do it, now that I think about it. Wonder if there will be any benefits to continuing the counseling or if we should wait until/if the A ends and he wants to rebuild.

Your support, guidance, help are all appreciated.

ISGirl,

Keep conseling ... specially how to keep in plan B w/o going nuts. Usually Jennifer or Steve won't ask you to contact them unless there is a progress or there is a new event. You need their guidance on how to end plan B either to Dv or to go back to plan A.

It is hard but if there is any chance of reconcilation this plan B is the last resort.

It is hard and scary but think about living in 'coaster for the rest of your life .... I would rather live alone happy than together miserable.

-rh-

rh,

Thanks for posting. Guess not many hang out here. Getting better responses in the "General Discussions" area.

Anyhow, yes H admitted to being with her that weekend and the Plan B letter went to him.

I talked to Jennifer this past Wednesday night and will intiate more sessions as I need them. I was feeling pretty strong that night when I talked to her, and felt I had made the right decision.

I still know I have, but the loneliness is horrible. We have few friends, mostly couple friends and acquaintences, so the weekends are pretty tough. We spent so every waking hour of our weekends together as a couple (makes you wonder, huh?).

We have been separated since April 1, but Plan B'ing since May 5. D-Day July of 2002. Seems like forever, and you are right. Can't take this roller coastering forever.

Weekdays are the best for me because my job is very fulfilling and certainly keeps my mind occupied. Evenings after work I am pretty bushed so they are manageable.

It's just the weekends...

Have one pretty good "couple" friend that I may sit down and talk with this week, asking if I can intrude and be a 5th wheel sometimes. They know we have been separated off and on since last summer, just don't know the reason.

Gotta go get a life! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hang in there ISGIRL, I think that is my greatest fear...being out on my own. Big Sigh. I wouldnt even know where to start. Where to go, what to do, what to say...etc.

<small>[ May 11, 2003, 05:53 PM: Message edited by: gina_in_love ]</small>

bump

Weekend is very hard but you could do it. There are many valunteering program that would fill your weekend and at the sametime give you rewarding result. Churches, museums, kitchen for homeless, zoo those could use many helps. Or have a gardening project or home improvement project or hit the gymn until you drop dead <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .

The most important is to have a plan ! ... dont' wait until weekend come then stare at computer screen <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . HAVE A PLAN such that you look forward for the weekend.

-rh-