my h says he doesn't know what he wants but he is still at home we have been going to marriage counsiling for 4 wks. he told o/w on the phone no more contact trying to work on our marriage. that was 4/30. she called him on 5/7 she claims to say goodbye. he again told her no more contact. it has now been a full 8 days no contact. i can check his phone calls and his e-mail, so i know it is true. he was feeling really sick to his stomach but now that is gone. he still doesn't know if he wants to be with his family or her. we have three kids f-23 f-19 m-13. is this the fog? i am plan A-ing all the way have nice dinners ready every night. iron his work clothes house is very clean. he still looks in the paper for an apartment. but doesn't talk about leaving. this is his first affair we get along great.the sex could be much better.i really do love my H he says he loves me, but doesn't know if he will be in love with me again. he is allso in A.A. for 13yrs. he does seem to be talking more to me. this is so hard.

(((Denise))): It is definitely fog.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I'm so glad you are talking more. That is key.

It takes time to work out the pain. Your H hopefully is painfully aware of the fact that he has hurt you and your family. Sometimes it is hard for a WS to forgive themselves and believe they are worthy of forgiveness, especially in the early days following d-day, speaking from my own experience as a FWS in recovery for 2 years now.

Keep reading up and posting and keep talking with your H.

I hope things improve soon.