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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
i don't know if this is normal or not but things seem to be calm. my H. has had n/c with o/w for 2-weeks now he still has not apologized to me.i'm ok with that for now. i feel like we are kind of stuck in limbo. we get along fine, sometimes our conversations feel a little forced to me. he doesn't seem as lost as he did in the beginning could it be he is just very slowly comming out of the fog, like molasses slowly dripping.i feel like we are just going through the motions. i have felt this way for about 4 days now. he seems to have one day bad the next ok. is it just a very slow process? we go to the gym together, have a date every sat. night,this weekend we are going to newport for the weekend it is our 28th wedding anniversary. we still have not been intimate. please tell me what you think. i'm so confussed. de
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Once no contact is established (meaning NO CONTACT. No email, no little "hello's", no voicemails) you can expect it to start getting better in 2 months or so.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
chris, thank you for your input 2-months is not bad! god bless. de
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
yesterday was a bad night after marriage counseling. H. says he still feels pretty much the same still in love with o/w and not in love with me but loves me and wants to try and get it back. it has been 16 days n/c with o/w. but it is just so hard to sit there in counseling and listen to him. it just seems to be all about him. there is his addictive personality. selfish, me, me, me. we leave tomorrow for aweekend away it is our 28th wedding anniversary. some times i just feel like telling him to leave so i can get on with my life.i know i don't deserve this! maybe mister right is out there for me. alot of what ifs? ikeep going back and fourth with this.d/day 3/23/03 n/c 5/20/03 e/a-12/02 p/a-01/03. de
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 170
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 170 |
de,
Sounds normal to me. I think Chris is right. I really struggled through my H’s withdrawal. I read about the “worst” being over in 3 weeks, and found myself counting the days. Well, it wasn’t much better after 3 weeks, but after 2 months it was. Have you re-read the “withdrawal” section in SAA – might be helpful. Hang in there.
Chick
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 25
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 25 |
I can totally relate. W and I are seperated spliting weeks at home with the kids. One week on and one week off. We have dates one or twice a week and I can feel myself getting closer and wanting more. But she does not feel any different - has no feelings for me (intimate or otherwise). As I get closer, a trigger happens that resets me back to the fact that my life is a bad for tv movie. I have absolutely no control and am waiting around for something to happen. It has been 6 weeks and I still go up and down although not as frequently. What I am trying to do is seperate my heart from her so that I can live. It absolutely kills me.
In other words, I know exactly how you feel. Time can never seem to move fast enough. Should I stay or should I go? Why do I have to be the brave one when she messed up?
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