Well, like i said earlier i am doing plan A to the tilt. My w had a bad day yesterday, i had a foot bath ready for her, candles, took care of the kids, cleaned the house, cooked dinner, gave her time to relax, but didn't see much appreciation, yeah i got the mercy thank you. She started to tell me about what happened yesterday but stopped herself. The OM is out of town for a few days and i think people at work are giving my w a hard time. I didn't press the issue cause i wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it. I know it is killing her that he is not available to talk to but he'll be back Sat. night. I am going to keep it up but how do you cope with the rejection of your efforts and how they close up to themselves.<P>Derek

Derek...<P>This is it!!!!<BR>The one-million dollar question (for <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>-ers!<P>There is no one answer...<BR>- Prayer...<BR>- Realizing she is an "addict"...<BR>- Accepting partial insanity in her brain...<BR>- Reach out to us...<BR>- Overwhelm her with even more "kindness"...<BR>- Light another candle...<BR>- Play with the kids in front of her...<P>The worse thing you can do is "ponder" on the rejection... that's a poison worse than any chemical addiction! Sometimes... you need to step away... definitely a "prayer" time...<P>Sometimes knowing others have it worse off can help. You have your W at home... Mine has left... and my W has taken up the habit, on too many occasions, of using on me the obscenities the OM taught her. I have to let it roll off of me... It's very hard...<P>Please come and <B>vent</B> here...<BR>It helps...<P>Wishing you a Happy New Year/Millenium...<P>Jim

Derek,<P>It sounds like you handled yourself very well yesterday. Keep up the good work.<P>Don't consider it rejection, I don't think it is rejection. Total rejection would be a divorce. And you aren't there, you still have lots going for you.<P>Look at it as an opportunity. Make sure you employ no conversation stoppers, maybe find out some tricks on how to keep a conversation going. If conversation is her need, then figure out how to help it out.<P>You are doing great.<BR>tnt

Ah Derek, <BR>I know what you mean, its hard to fell like you give and give with so little result isn't it? I found it helps to keep a Journal and I write down every positive sign no matter how small, he said thank you, etc..<BR>Hang in there Lora