My wifes affair is breaking down and of course everyones at fault (me, his wife, him, family etc).

She told me to move on and that she wouldn't be contacting for some time.

Have I just been plan "B"ed by my unfaithfull wife?

If she does call should I continue to work on my Plan A which I thought was going well until I was the bad guy again?

As the BS, you can't be Plan B'ed.

Plan B is where the BS (you) introduces a condition of no communication with the WS (your wife) until the A is finished.

If your wife insists on no communication with you, this is not Plan B.

Plan B is about YOU taking back control of your life. If your wife has told you that she wants no communication, this is not Plan B - this is still her having her way.

In my very humble opinion, it seems that you might need to determine what boundaries or limits you want to have, rather than letting your wife (who has already shown you immense disrespect by having an affair!!) set the conditions and rules of your interactions.

This is just my opinion. My experience with Plan B is limited, I admit. I have been in Plan B for nearly 4 weeks now. My WH left home of his own accord in February to "sort his head out". I found out about the affair in April. He still hasn't sorted his head out - but I sense that it won't be too long now.

Decide what you want. Set some boundaries. Be good to yourself.

goodguy007,

I use that term too ... actually you just have been NC'ed. My ExW did it to me. Keep Plan A !. She did it since she can't take it ... she know she did a wrong thing, it is easier for her if you disappears from the face of the earth. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> .

-rh-

Redhat,

Maybe her her avoiding me has something to do with her failing affair and inability to deal with everything right now.

Maybe she's hopping if I did run into the arms of another woman this would give her justification that her affair was OK. And I realy don't love her after all if I'm with someone else so soon after our separation our marraige must be unfixable.

Or Maybe I'm a fool and it's really over.

So many maybe's when in this mess.

Listen goodguy007 ... Don't speculate on her motive, it would drive you nuts. Take what your hear with grain of salt and take what you see as a fact.

If she push you to NC ... don't cross it unless you want a RO on your record. Stay away and get busy ... it would help you out to get stronger and dry up any LB$ left for your W. It drained my love's ocean for my ExW and it makes my self recovery/healing very easy.

Plan A is about you, if she push you away ... you could still do plan A. It is about you to show that you have changed or capable of change. WW doesn't need to see your action ... it would be nice but all she need is to be convinced. Third party could notice your changes and give their 2¢. Boundry is drawn by WS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> and attempt to cross it it would be LB'ng.

Rememeber it is not over until you let it go, not even your signature on Dv paper matter.

-rh-