well it has been23 days since H stopped all contact with other woman but, he says he still feels an intense love for her is this normal? he tryed to be intimate with me but he says it just wasn't there is this normal? he still doesn't feel like he is in love with me but he loves me.should i give it more time? we still go to marriage counselinf i am plan a-ing still putting lots of love in the bank. he does seem to be changing doesn't say mean things anymore calls me 3xday from work. we go to the gym together. we go to my sons babe ruth games together. he still lives at home he says he really doesn't know what he wants still is this all normal? i feel really good about myself so no matter what the outcome i know i'll be fine. funny we don't even argue never have. we really admire one another. but something got lost. married 28 yrs. e/a-12/02 p/a-1/03 d-day 4/9/03 n/c-5/20/03. de

I'm no expert but 23 days for him to fall out of love does seem like a short time. If it was that easy imagine how easy it would have been for him to have fallen out of love with you.

The main thing is he is doing everything he can to fix things and he's being open about his feelings.

I'm trying to look at each problem in my relationship as something that I can use to determine if things are getting better. If my wife finaly tells me that she loves me which she hasn't done for some time then I will know that she is making a turn for the betterment of our marriage.

Try and view the sex issue or any other problem in this manner. Sex is difficult for him now but when it's not then maybe thats progress. Better to know it's difficult for him now and better later than to assume he's ok with it now if he wasn't talking about it.

Maybe it's the venue - the house - give it time or try it during an overnight date night at a hotel even better an afternoon hotel rendevue. Neutral territory if you will.