everything seems to be pretty much the same maybe not as tense but h says he still feels the same doesn't know what he wants o/w or me he's still at home working on marriage. this fog crap really blows. does it ever get any better. is it this slow for others? it has been 5-weeks n/c with o/w d-day 4/20 been married 28 yrs. we still go to marriage counseling and individual counseling.i am still plan A-ing all the way. anyone have any thoughts? de

dekicks - I am pretty new at all this but I wanted to respond and say that I wish I was to the point you are! Hang in there! My WH left me for OW (whom he lives with) on March 7, WH still thinks he is "in love" with OW and that they will eventually get married and so on. You are right this fog thing blows! But be encouraged that you have the NC - I beleive that is at least somewhat encouraging. Hang in there! Cherie

dekicks,

Could you put M time line ?. Put a major memorable moment, good or bad (1 for bad and 5 for great) every 6 months, plot them and see if you have a past history that your WH could fall back on. Rule of thumb, if you don't have 20% of your M continously fall into good/great catagory ... you are fighting an up hill battle. Do this for yourself first then delete the plot and let him fillin. Discuss the result of any discrepency.

Rating
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^ ^ ^ ^
6mo 1 yr 1.5 yr 2 yr
events ______________________________________

It would force both of you sit down, tell him that it is not about working on M <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , it is about looking back <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ...

-rh-

I agree about the fog. Mine has been gone for a year and a half. Does not know what he wants. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> He has been living with her. I have for the past year or so been in Plan A. Still he comes over to the house Weds,Fri, all day Sunday I cook for him so he can eat with the boys, spends all hoildays with us I have 2 sons. We still do things together. When do you know if the fog has lifted? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Or is there a special fog horn out there that will help us <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> to help them see what they are doing! If there is sound it off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by No2nos:
<strong>When do you know if the fog has lifted? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> Or is there a special fog horn out there that will help us <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> to help them see what they are doing! If there is sound it off. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">ROTFLMAO ..... You are soo funny. Listen carefully ... your WH is not suddently snatched by alien, it is a slow process, specially long term "soulmate" type of A <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . On D-day you suddently saw the alien had completed the process of body snatching. When defog happens, WH would start trying to fillin your ENs and trying to court you ... like the process of detoxing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .

Do they know they are in the fog ? ... no way. Not until defoged happens.

-rh-