My husband has cheated on me for the second time. The first time was 3 yrs ago and short lived. She claims they slept together once he claims they didn't at all. Now I found out that he has done it again with someone else. It has been going on for a year and they have slept together on several occasions. There was a relationship there but supposedly it was starting to end right around the time I officially found out. I has suspected it for awhile. I even called him on it several times and got the run around. He has severed all ties with her and says he is sorry and completely in love with me. We went to a counslor this time( the first time we didn't). I am just so confused and not sure what to do. I love him and he has been trying but this has been consuming my whole life. we even have a 4yr old boy. I think of this 24/7. I think we got to the bottom of "why" but how do I know that is the real reason. He said some of it was attention. Anyone who has any advice please help.

A good way for you to know for sure if your H is indeed truly remorseful and willing to repair the damage he has caused with his two A's, is for him to make the committment (you as you must also do) to follow Dr Harley's Basic Concepts AND The Four Rules For A Succesful Marriage . If he is reluctant to do this, then you have a man who is only talk and no action, and it will be up to you to decide whether you want to have a future with an individual like him.

<small>[ June 26, 2003, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

Thank you for the advice. I just want to make sure I am doing the right thing. Have you ever heard of a couple working after 2 affairs? I just want to know if I am crazy for thinking it can work. Thank you!

sp96,

I don't think you're crazy. My H had far more than two As, but I still have lots of hope that we can make it. And I'm determined to make sure it happens.

TMCM gave wise advice. (As usual) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

If you haven't read SAA yet, please do so. It's one of the best investments I've ever made.

Dobie

Dobie,

How are you surviving? Do you have any tips? Do you have children. Do you have any words of wisdom?

sp96,

We have a five year old son and another child due around Xmas. I survive by knowing that he's a good man with a lot of great qualities who has done some pretty horrible things. He has come a long way in his behavior since then. I'm pretty short on wisdom, but I've been long on hope lately. Of course, with pregnancy mood swings I may have a different answer tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Dobie

Dobie, hate to be a pest but I feel comfort in knowing there is someone like me out there. Congrats on the upcoming baby. I wish that was me but I don't think it is the right time. My H also is a good man and this was totally out of content for him. We moved 1500 miles away (the a 's happend afterwards) and it put alot of stress on us. He is trying to fix it but I am so afraid. some of the things he said were the same as when he first did it. Although, this time he suggested MC. Which we did. I do see a big difference in him. I just hope and pray it is real this time. Sorry I am babbling. I just can't talk to anyone about this. Thank you!