Well it took almost 5 weeks, but I was finally able to talk to a gal at work, one who I worked and talked side by side with for seven years with, about what was going on friday during lunch time. She works in our engineering lab and the traffic in that area of engineers coming and going is pretty heavy all day long. Hopefully sunday we can get together and talk more about it and I can tell her the whole story. Kim (my WW) knows her also. She and her boyfriend have broken up also. Might just be the phantom person that is needed. Spent 3 hours out at the lake saturday with some camping friends and had a fairly good time. Shoulder got to where it was throbbing or else I would have stayed longer. Spent saturday evening packing the camper and getting ready for the 4th weekend camping trip. It seems kind of funny, but since its been over a week since no contact, the other pulled muscle in my back has healed. All thats left is the shoulder blade or whatever it is and the numbness in a couple fingers and part of the hand. Maybe the lack of seeing kim and thinking so much about what she is doing was keeping the body from healing itself. Maybe its just timing too.

Tim Foster,

While it is good to get busy ... please stay away from your gal worker. This is how A starts !. You are playing with fire ...

-rh-

I second redhat's advice about staying away from any marital and or personal talk with your female co-worker because it is a violation of one of the most important marital boundaries of all. It may start inocent enough but without any intentional or planned out project on your part BUT without the two of you realizing it, you'll both begin to fulfill each other's top EN's and this in and of itself, will put the two of you on the slippery slope path towards an A. Whether you realize it or not, you are at this moment very vulnerable to an A of your own.

Well got a little soft this morning and sent kim an e-card and told her I would be worried about her on her "trip" and hoped I would be in her thoughts somewhere because she will be in mine. I'm probably asking too much for it to rain all 10 days that they are at the cabin, so they can get on each others nerves. hehe.

If you are in Plan B, what are you doing sending her an e-card?

Yes I'm supposed to be in plan B. She is just leaving for a 10 day fishing trip up to northern minnesota and was kinda concerned of something bad happening and thought I should at least say something to her. Email is probably just as bad.

Tim Foster,

Do you start your plan B with plan B letter or just NC ?. There is a huge different.

-rh-

I gave her a letter stating that I did not want to see or speak to her till the affair was over.
Even though she emails me almost every day to see how my darn should/back is doing. My responses have always been right to the point. No Love tims, bye or anything but a response to her questions.

Tim Foster,

Actually, you should not even response to her questions uless is about kids or financial. Even with those you should set it up with a middle man.

-rh-

OK, I guess I didn't think email would hurt, but I suppose it is still contact. Thanks.

If you have any more doubts, just come over here and redhat and me will be glad to whack you over your head with our virtual 2x4 board. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hehe kind of like slapped along side the head with a big trout.

Well just got back fro the long camping weekend. Kim has been on her "vacation" since wedenesday, still another full week to go. I had a pretty good time, good friends wee with and way too much food, such is life hehe. This datn shoulder/arm/back injury tends to ruin things since it throbbed almost all weekend. Hot or cold didn't seem to help it. Oh well. I am still doing plan B and was wondering, there are still clothes in the closets (house and camper) of kims and of course the grandma stuff all over the house that are a constant reminder of her to me when I see them. I am tempted to box the stuff up and am wondering if that is being to radical. The things don't hurt anything, but I am not sure if it would pi** kim off when she gets back from wonderland and notices the nic-nacks (is that spelled right) gone. She gets home from work an hour or so before me and we are still sharing a mail box, so she drops the mail off at the house every day. I would not want to do anything that would make the situation look like a lb. Thanks all, I am learning alot about myself and learning alot of changes.

Hmmm, just got bank statements today and noticed a $1500 withdrawl from kims savings account june 6th. Wonder what that was for? I see both of our names are on the account, can I have the bank require both of our signatures to authorize a withdrawl?

If both your names are in the account then any of the two can withdrawl money without the others consent.

Not until separation or Dv is filed, you can't do nothing. You could try later but most likely would be thrown out by the judge. This is what we mean by protecting ourself. I was cancelling my ExW CC & deposit my money to my new account the day when I found out that she is filling.

-rh-

That figures, even though since it is really her account it is probably not worth pi**ing her off over the 1500 thats left in it either. Definitely going to call the credit card companies and get them straightened out though.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Tim Foster:
<strong> Definitely going to call the credit card companies and get them straightened out though.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Let your WW know you are doing it. Just tell her it is for te best trying to have separate finances. -rh-

I printed a basic letter telling her that I had cancelled the accounts and her sams club card. It was real tempting to vent on her, but I refrained. I mentioned that I saw the $1500 withdrawl, but said no more about it. I'm beginning to think that it is hopeless, between withdrawing money for him (I'm assuming) and this "vacation up north" and supposedly she is coming back tomorrow night and going camping with him for the weekend. She called our son and told him this stuff today, she even asked how I was doing and he told her (that I am scheduled for x-rays and an MRI friday for this shoulder/back/arm problem) and then she started talking about how "fun" the vacation is/was. Kinda funny since we went camping every weekend except for maybe 2 or 3 from may through september. She took 7 days off of work for this "vacation", and it was always trouble before to get even 2 days in a row off. I am thinking of changing the locks on the house, the only time she comes here is to drop off the mail because she gets home an hour ahead of me. After seeing the bank statement last night I believe there are things in the mail she does not want me to see also and that is why she so generously offered to pick up the mail still. Tempted to get the mailbox locks changed and to talk to the bank and ask them to hold all the statements and I will pick them up instead of mailing them. Am I talking out of my a**?

Tim Foster,

Do what you have too as long as you could stay away from LB you could get away with murder .... like one R Guru said " ... it is how we react to the incident ...". I would suggest you change the house key and let her know that you are not comfortable that OM has access to the key. I did it too late ; my ExW took most of our painting from Bali (worth several $K) and Disney Video Collections and some important tax documents and other belonging that she want to have. It is easier to prevent it than to fight it on the court. Get a secondary mail box and get a separate bank account !. Change all your important mail to your own mailbox & deposit your paycheck to that account. You don't need to explain the mail box and the bank account ... it is your own bussiness. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

Good job on avoiding LB
-rh-