Another query I have.

How can I do a succesful PlanB with no contact when I and H have a child?

What do others do?

Thanks for any input <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I set up communication via email and txtmsg when my ExW putting NC on me and SH told me to go to plan B immediately. The exchange of the kids I set it up on the skating rink so I don't need to see her at all. I would leave .5 hours before she came. When there is email or txt messages, I only answer it with minimal "Yes" or "No" answer or questions. It helps me tremendously and still have NC w/ my ExW. Now I start to forget how she looks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> and have no desire to check/find out.

-rh-

redhat, how long have ya been into plan b?, any improvements yet?
Rookie

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rookie:
<strong>redhat, how long have ya been into plan b?, any improvements yet?
Rookie</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I was never formally in Plan B. I was plan A under SH's coaching. 6 months into it ... my ExW put NC with me and filed. SH told me to avoid LB and followed her terms of NC. The only one that improved is myself. 6 months into "plan B" I have no love left for my ExW. I have no regret and my heart is harden ... I beleive hers too. In one of the Dv preceeding, under SH approval, I request my status changed (In CA you could do that). I was granted Dv status 12/31/02 even the Dv (financial & support)still lingers/temporary.

My situation was unique in term of OM is very skillfull .... IN MB ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . Nothing that I did take any effect since OM "guided" my ExW !. He was under MC together in 1997 cheating w/ OW (not my WW), the conselor uses/coaches MB!. He knows ENs/LBs/RH and including NC !. OM is "a tiger given a wing" .... SH didn't stop me when I want Dv status .... We know very well this A would not end for a long time. I need to protect my sanity and my 2 D's too.

I am done with my M. Now I am the one that put NC on my ExW (she tried to break her own NC on last months and I just use her own guideline/term to put stop on it). It is b/c she still in la la land with OM & upset with the whole world. How to put it ... my W back then was unhappy and choose A and blamed everything on me. Even on her current unhappiness she tries to blame it on me ... her A is showing cracks. I do a complete NC !, even for important stuff such as choosing HS for my D I used court appointed mediator and we don't even sit down together to do that. I told the mediator the boundry and criteria and the mediator would talk to my ExW. The mediator knew very well the whole story and I trust her judgement.

IMVHO, moving from plan A to plan B should always be under MB's coaching & observation.

-rh-

Oh gosh Redhat. So your wife already knows about MB and is being coached MB PlanA/B through the OM!! A truly unique situation indeed!! She wasn't/isn't aware that you know about PlanA/B though is she?

Sounds to me that cheating could be a pattern with her OM if he has cheated before. He will do the same eventually to your wife regardless of teaching her MB Plans and once the *novelty* wears off. Then he will be teaching his new mistress PlanA/B. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Perhaps your wifes OM is after Steve Harleys job <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My ExW read about HNHN & get talk to SH 3x before she cut it out. She knew I "chat" at MB.

OM used what he knew before his conseling plus ENs/LBed/Time to get her. He is not after SH job but he uses his knowledge to help him to prey. He would say anything to please woman, very good at lying. He did "clean slate" w/ ExW ... LOL ! He still kissing and spending time with his W. Radical Honesty at his convinient.
OM had a lot of baggage that my ExW know nothing about. His ExW suspect that he is bisexual <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and I do beleive her. He used to hang out at local gay bar. OMExW wants to tak to one of the his gay freind but I advice her not to. A this point snooping is only hurting her and nothing to gain. This is not the worst that he had done ... so you know how bad my ExW is going to get it.

When I say I just sit and watch them w/ detachment, I am not kidding. It is like telenovellas.

Anyway, what are your issues in plan B w/ kids ?

-rh-