rOuter, could not be happier for you, have prayed for ya, so, if it works,,,, get on your knees and start knocking em out for me bud.

TMCM, If I could get her to be around more I would, right now like I said with football, it is down to 45 minutes to a hour before she leaves for her parents home. When I get back from the fishing trip I am going to try to spend as much time as she will allow, and that is the key words, she allows.

If I push it too much I am accused of being manipulative, and it pushes her further away, seems like a no win sitch.

My mother is pushing me to call it quits, if the wife doesnt start to come around real soon, she says she can see it in my face that it has taken it's toll. Moms are usually right on target...

God I hope the fog starts to clear, I am exhausted.
Rookie

Just wanted to add, I did change the voice maile message on our home phone along with the access code, she was over last night and when the phone rang and she could not get to it in time, she found out the codes were changed.

She is asking me now who is calling that I do not want her to know about, I did check the phone upstairs and she did review the caller ID list, interesting, I told her since she is no longer living here, she should not be on the answering machine statin she is.

Had a big blow out with the W tonight, I walked away.

I know we the BS are supposed to be concious of the LB's and such, but it gets real hard when all I can get out of my W is I dont know's and I dont feel the passion. I broke major rule and told her if she could get over the OP, maybe the passion could return and asked her if she took the time to ask her IC that question, things went south from there.

She is back to the I'll go to counseling, but just so when we divorce we can do it as friends.

Seems when she raises her voice that is simply her way of showing emotions,as she always told me when I told her to stop yelling and talk, I've always been accused by her of being non-emotional as far as raising mine, well tonight when I did show my emotions, I was told to stop yelling at her, I simply reminded her of her statement, that I WAS showing emotions.

Been on this roller coaster WAY too long,, need to come up for air and get a grip on myself...

VENTING,,,,,

I am here by myself in the house, I asked her if she truly wanted to work on the marriage, why she couldnt she move back in, and go to counseling.

I've tried very hard latley to avoid any LB's, big time withdrawal tonight...but it's always about her feelings, mine NEVER are taken into account, or the son's.

Again and another LB, but I did make the statement that she has told me she loved me and I asked her how she could string this whole thing along knowing how it is effecting me, (loosing weight, not sleeping right and such) and truly say you love me, if you did, you wouldnt want to see someone you love hurt so much, I know a stupid move, but it's killing me.....

Hi Rookie,

Prayin' for ya. Gosh, I wish I knew what to
say. It's been a rollercoaster for a long time.
May God help you make the right decision, and make the right move. You are doing your best
considering. You've done a heck of a lot better
than I think I would do in that situation.
Take care of yourself, and son. Try not to
beat yourself up.

Ladysheep

Keeps getting better all along.

I just got the cell phone records of my W's phone.
They were mailed to a friends house as I didnt want to have her intercept them by any chance.

Her calls started to him Jan 28th, and have continued daily, 5-10 calls a day.

The W was the maid of honor at my daughters wedding (she is the step mom) this was the day she stated that she decided to make our marriage work, she was so serious about it that she called him twice from the wedding.

But, as she has told me numerous times, OP has nothing to do with our marriage and she is not hung up on him at all, they are just friends. She just lost her passion for me....

I cant take too much more of this.... it's gotta end one way or the other.

I did let her know, left a message on her voice mail that I have the records and what I have stated above, I feel at this point there is nothing left to loose.......

Finally did it, since I did not have the evidence to inform the city for which I used to work, where my W and the OP are currently employed I did not contact the city manager to make him aware of the A.

Since I have the phone records and can document the contact using CITY equiptment to facilitate the A, which is in violation of city policy to use said equiptment for personal use, I have e-mailed the city manager.

Since the OP is the person in charge of city phones and computers and is responcible for monitoring the use by other employees for violations of said policy, deep doo-doo is enroute the OP's way.

The wife has threatened me with divorce in the past if I ever contacted the manager as it would also place her job on the line, but she has already threatened me numerous times with divorce, so what do I have to loose at this point.

Good, send one of those sidewinder and see if their A fried up. WS is like an addict, cheat, lies, threathen, do all imaginable to continue their A. The more realities come on their way the better.

-rh-

Hi Rookie,

Sorry to hear that. Don't tell her you have contacted the city manager.

Let her and him find out for themselves.

Ladysheep

This is so typical, I did tell her about the cell phone bills and that she had called from the daughter's wedding shower, rehersal and wedding itself, she denies it, talk bout fog, it's in black and white from her phone to his, but it didnt happen.

No I did not say anything about the city manager issue, I am sure I will hear about that when it hits. I dont expect any action on it for a couple days, the city manager will probably check the cell bills and e-mail accounts before approaching the issue, which is only the proper thing for him to do.

rookie do the phone records show where the calls originated from? I ask because if they don't then it could be possible that it was the OM that contacted her, not the other way around.

TMCM, yep it shows incomming calls as well as the calls originated from her cell.

I cant beleive she was denying this, when I told her about the call from the wedding, her response after first denying it was to tell him that it was over as she saw all the family and still wanted to be part of it. Sooo that makes it about 8 times that she told him it's over.

What bothered me and I told her about it was the fact that there were times that we made love, she told me she loved me, then on the same day or next called him.

Rookie,

When was the last date on that bill that your W called him or he called her?

Is it still happening?

ladysheep the billing period was to July 3rd., it does show she contacted him then.

I did have to order the other billing periods back to November, her calls started Jan 28th. and contined at quite a heavy volume since.

I did talk to her today she sounds like someone beat her up, crying and the usual when she does not have control over a situation.

I did e-mail her mother, who has been spoon fed the version spun by the W., I informed her that I did have access to the W's e-mail without her knowledge and informed her of the messages left by the OP, like, I miss you I love you messages as well as a inappropriate one where he stated he was going to leave his phone on vibrate between his legs waiting for her to call.

I also advised her of the start of the calls from my wife and the amount she called him.

W was extrememly pissed bout the e-mail to mom, asked me how I could do that to a woman who recently had surgery for cancer, I then asked the wife how she could have a affair after I had surgery for cancer and was also awaiting result of further,, she started her A 4 mos. after my surgery, but again, it's about her......mom had her surgery one week or two weeks after I did...

Rookie,

Man I wish I knew what to tell you pal. I've been knock an 'em out, like you asked me to, hope it helps soon!
It ain't easy engaging a hostile without LB'ing, I wish you luck and strength. I pray that she will find the strength and clarity to see her way out of the fog soon. We all know that you are ready to accept her back and repair the damage, now it is up to her.
Keep venting, I know that it helps. Keep your spirits up the best way you can, and hold on to the love that you have for her.

Take care,

r0uter

Just remembered...

I wanted to tell you to have fun with your son tomorrow and next week! Work on yours and your son's healing for the week, it will do you some good to cleanse your soul!

Any way to cancel her cell phone at least while you are gone? I know that the phone service I have (Since both of our phones are in my name) I can deactivate the phones and I can change the password for her voice mail at will!! Just a thought, a little underhanded...oh well!!

Take Care and God bless,

r0uter

Rookie,

When was the wedding?

Do you know if they made any calls to each other
the whole month of July?

I believe it was a good idea to write to MIL.
Your W is just trying to manipulate you once
and again. Those are crocodile tears!! She's
upset she's being caught.

Sorry Rookie

Hey rOuter, happy for ya, Nope, not going to cancel her phone, the simple solution for her would be to hang up, difficult process to master, but once done...

Ladysheep, the wedding was June 7th, I dont think they are contacting each other by her cell any longer. OP's W states that he has a new cell, which I can only assume matches the one he probably bought her.

I do know for a fact that they were in contact last week while he was on vacation as the OP's W was reporting on all the calls they made to each other.The OP's did not go but her best friend did and kept her appriased at two all that was going on with OP and W.

I also know she was in contact with him this week as she told me about the voice mail message I left him, I had told him to stop contactin her as she requested, which Iknew was sent to his e-mail, again the friend on vacation. She stated that he let her listen to the message I left.

Taking my son fishing to northern Wisconsin in the morning for a week.

Take care all and keep me in your prayers.

The W and I did not part on good terms at all tonight.

Rookie

Hope you guys have a great fishin' trip!!!

Back from the fishing trip, the W came over while I was gone, removed alot of things from the home.

Her work did get the messge about her and the OP using company phones and such to carry on the A.
She was very pissed bout that, said I was trying to mess up HER life and HIS, guess the son and I dont matter....

Did lock it in with her parents when I dropped my son off about them aiding the affair and supporting it by taking her in, was like in one ear and out the other.

Giving up hope here real fast....tired now was a long drive, will post further later.