I did speak with the W on the phone last night, for some reason I didnt hang up as usual, violated Plan B, but, it was only a 5 minute conversation before I did.

She stated that she would still be living here had I not notified the family, states that she can not face them as it would be unbearable. I did ask her how she continued to work where she does as all there know of the A, her comment was I still have to a=make a living.

No real point to this post other than a vent, it is always one reason or another as to why she left, but in the end as I told her no matter what she says, she would have been gone no matter what reason she presents.

Hi Rookie,

It seems your wife is more worried about what the family thinks than you. Ask her if it is unbearable for her to face you. She's just putting the blame on elsewhere, but herself.
Don't take it personally.

After doing that, it should be unbearable for her to face you, which is what I think it really is.

Ladysheep

Ok, so last night I thought I saw the W by the mailbox.

This morning I get the mail and there is a birthday card from her.

It states, I wish you could get over the anger, have a happy birthday.

This trips my trigger, considering the recent events.

I broke Plan B, again and sent the following e-mail,

Do not have any further contact with me while you are involved in your affair.

As far as the anger goes, it is not anger but hurt, you have put me in a adversarial position by leaving, moving to another apartment and screwing another man.

How dare you to wish me a happy birthday, contact me when the A is over.

You dont have the nerve to face me personally after what you have done.

Your card really pisses me off as you have no feelings for anyone else except yourself and JON.

Sorry, I know I need the proverbial 2x4 across the head, but what nerve, ingnorance she displayed by doing that.

Tommorow is my birthday, it is usually one of those days to stay in bed, past birthdays, oders to go to Viet Nam. Orders to pick up my friends body that was killed there and bring it home, two weeks after surgery for cancer, served with lawsuit, and of coarse 9-11-01, wife is moving to a apartment from her parents house 9-12-03, need I say more?, should take a couple of sleeping pills and just sleep through the day hoping nothing happens.

VENT'''''''''''''''''

Well, the birthday went by pretty uneventful.

Today she shows up with the movers to pick up some furniture.

Was extrememly emotional watching my sons bedroom set leave and other items.

FIL came with her and stood by his vehicle, he did not even have the nerve to approach and say hello, I did acknowledge him.

In-laws are paying for rent, attorney fees and furniture for the W, she must have told them a VERY good story or they are just plain ignorant.

Vent....

Almost forgot, she has been getting into my e-mail account from her work.

She did mention as to where I would be going to this weekend and with whom. (friends she does not know that I have made since she has left, which is making her wonder)

Seems to me that she should care less as to what I am doing.

Told her I did not care that she was checking my e-mail as I had nothing to hide, unlike her, she made it a point to call me and let me know about the e-mails, I then hung up.

As she moved out today, there seems to be very little hope. I sent the OP a e-mail, advising him of the times my W had sex w/me while telling him she was in love with him, and that, as a technicality, she was also cheating on him.

Was something I know others advise against, but I wanted to give HIM some stomache acid for a change.

Rookie I won't give you a 2x4 whack over your head, besides what good would it do since it seems to be made of titanium <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> . I will say that she SEEMS to have sent you that BD card in order to provoke a response from you and I say this because in your past posts, you mentioned that she has tried to sabotaged your Plan B no contact. It's been said that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference and it SEEMS that she'd rather deal with your outbursts of hurt, anger or hatred than deal with your indifference. What do you think?

TMCM, by you making that statement in regards to the indifferance it set a light bulb off im my titanium head.

I believe, from her view, it is better for her to deal with the hurt/anger as she is able to justify her affair then my indifferance, the indifferance bothered her, because it was just that (or she interpeted it as I just dont give a s**t mode, but I always left the door open saying when the A is over, I'll be there and that it was to painful for me to talk to her, and in complete honesty, it was).

I know, I do have to get into the indifferance mode in a solid manner, and I will. You are more than correct.

As far as the OP, do you think I was wrong in fueling his insecurities?, he by nature is a very insecure person.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">"As far as the OP, do you think I was wrong in fueling his insecurities?, he by nature is a very insecure person."</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'd say just the opposite, for it is his insecure nature will be his downfall with or without your help.

TMCM, the indifferance does kill her.

Last night, Fri. I was to meet some friends to go th the dog track at 6:30, I asked the W to pick up the son at football practice at 6:15 as I had plans.

6:35 rolls around, no W, I was not going to leave the son there without one of us present.

I call her and ask where she is, she stated she was on her way. Anyhow this led to a chain of phone calls.
I picked up my friends, they were in the car when W calls 10 times for whatever reason, I would answer and hang up after I answered her questions that were previously answered. It was to the point I was answer and hangup immediatley as she was just ranting bout whatever.

My friends asked me if she was out of her mind. The indifferance coffeeman is very painful to her obviously, I interpet that as something I must adhere to.

Well, it was good to get out with a bunch of people, totally had the situation off my mind for several hours, I also did well enough at the track where I was able to walk out ahead by $50.00 after paying for dinner, drinks(non-alcoholic of coarse)admission and parking.

Way off topic, but at the track, every other friday they have 50 cent beers, I drink Sharps, a non-alcoholic beer (still love my beers) but the charge $3.00 a bottle for it. Some how that does not seem right, but who said life is fair.

Rookie you might want to turn off your cell phone the next time she starts becoming a nuisance.

I wonder if she's letting her imagination run wild by speculating that your indifference, due to Plan B, may actually be a sign of your involvement with another woman. What do you think?

TMCM, I dont really know if she interpets it as my involvement with another woman, here is why.

She does know the name of someone I have been seeing as she has tapped into my e-mail, this person is female, but it is a friendship, and she has introduced me to a new cirle of freinds, and we have discussed the friends in the e-mails.

I have left e-mails from this woman on my account as I know her, being the W and the OP have been veiwing the account reading my e-mails. In the e-mails from this woman she is telling me about her dates and people she has romantic interests in.

The W also knows that I am having dinner tonight with the OP's W, as I corresponded with her via:e-mail, in the e-mail I discussed with his W (the OP's) that I wanted to review the terms of their divorce settlement as she just recieved the paperwork from her attorney with proposed settlement issues.

My W told my son that I was dating the OP's W, stating she knew the time, date and location we were meeting, I explained to the son that I was simply having dinner with her as we both have something in common because of our situation, and there was some issues in regards to what is going on the we wanted to discuss.

Yes, we are having dinner, but I also am having 4-5 other friends there at the time so that no one can interpet anything between the OP's W and myself.

And I did do exactly that last night, I left my cell phone in the car while I was out. It was GREAT to be out amongst people, laughing and having a good time. Having the situation off my mind for 4 hours was better than I could describe, I actually had a personality for a change.

It sounds like she MAY indeed beleive that you are involved with another woman and that she feels she needs to keep her presence in your mind alive so that she can have a fighting chance to get you back later on. That's why I beleive that your indifference, combined with the physical separation and friendship with this other female terrifies her so much.

I don't know how wise this suggestion may be but you might want to consider telling your son that you are more than willing to take him along the next time you and the OM's W get together so that he can see that there is nothing going on between you and her. I don't think that he would take you up on your offer but he will at least see that you are not hiding anything from him, unlike his mother.

Excellent idea, I will also suggest the the OP's W does the same with her son, at the same time.

Very excellent indeed, thanks.............

Hi Rookie,

I'm glad you had an enjoyable evening. You deserve it!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Went out again tonight, the OP's W was with, there were about 10 other people. No there are no interests in HIS wife at all, we both agreed that it was a good thing to simply get out of the house and be social with others, we did meet prior to eveyone else coming and discussed the divorce situtation we both are involved in.

I did see the W at the son's football game today.

I spoke with her, I sat right next to her, simply said that I had packed some items that she had left at the house and would she please come by and remove them, I was leaving without saying anything else to her when she made the comment that I should have a good time with the OP's W tonight and that I should read the divorce papers over carefully as I was going to be signing them soon myself, I was very calm about it, I simply turned, stated that I always try to have a good time and left. I was able to walk away with a smile on my face.

TMCM, I firmly beleive you might be correct, she baits me for a fight and if I dont fall for it, it definelty grinds on her.

The OP's W did state that he was in a extremely foul mood yesterday when he came home from work,, hmmmmmn wonder if it might have had something to do with the e-mail I sent him telling him she was having sex w/me while at the same time she was telling him she loved him.

Today when I saw her, wasnt as in times past where I was eating my heart out, I actually was looking at her and had the feeling of disgust.

One thing I did forget, the OP has informed his son that his W and I are dating as my own W informed my son of the same.

I cannot beleive how low these two can go, they are the ones messing around having a A, and now they are trying to tell the kids it is us,, how much lower can these two get....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rookie:

One thing I did forget, the OP has informed his son that his W and I are dating as my own W informed my son of the same.

I cannot beleive how low these two can go, they are the ones messing around having a A, and now they are trying to tell the kids it is us,, how much lower can these two get....</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well let's face it rookie, your e-mail telling OM that you and his stbxw are doing the wild thang behind his back did contribute to beefing up his lies about you to his son. It might be a good idea to abstain from further e-mail taunts to the OM for they could backfire on you later on.

If your son asks you flat out if its true that you and the OM's W are dating each other, you might want to tell him to look at what you do instead of what you say and that he judge for himself as to whether or not you are telling him the truth. With this you would be imparting to him on of the most important lessons in life, which is that 'actions speak louder than words'.

<small>[ September 14, 2003, 01:01 AM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

TMCM, no I dont plan on e-mailing the OP any longer, I did get my point across and the seed has been planted. I now know it had the desired affect, now let him swelter in it while I cackle my little buns off.

Yes, my son and his attitude is my concern in this sitch right now.

I have tried to been as open as possible with him on all of his inquiries. My biggest problem was him living with the W and the in laws, he was getting daily doses of how I destroyed our marriage and that mom has no significant other.

She, as of Fri. is now in her own apart., I now have two less people pumping sunshine about mom up his butt. It is only her now that he has to deal with on a 24 x 7 basis.

Now that she is not with her parents who cooked all the meals, had the house cleaned, had the laundry done, would watch the son for her at any time (all the things I also did when we were together) and she has to do the responcibilities of daily life, I want to see how long it is before some of the fog burns off, reality is going to suck for her

Oh her life is already sucking big time, and it will continue to get worse when Mr Wonderful starts showing his true colors to her. She'll wonder why she left you for this piece of work and an overrated desire for 'passion' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

TMCM, gotta say, dont know you personally, but love ya. Your always there when I need a honest answer, thank God for people like ya.

If your ever in the Chicago area, dinner is on me.

Rookie