TMCM, as always you are correct.

My big issue right now is selling this house. It is to the point I HATE coming home, there are to many memories here, compund that with the loneliness it is overwhelming at times.

I do thank God for several people who always seem to be around when I am in my deepest funk, I have found who the truest of my friends are and without sounding cheesy, I will cherish those people till I die.

I have thought about dating but gave up on that thought, just wouldnt be fair to go out with someone at this point. I talk a good line, but when I reflect on everything, and I hate to admit this, I am still in love with my W and miss her and my son.

Somehow it almost feels like a game. Today when she picked up my son I was in the garage, it is one of two things, she is either feeling guilt and doubt beyond belief or she hates me more than I will ever know, the look on her face is not the look of someone who is confident in their decision or of happiness, I wish I knew which one.

Everyone who knew us as a couple has said that she will try to come back sooner or later as alot of them know the OP and have said there is no comparison between the two of us and she will realize she made a bad choice.

She is way too stubborn to EVER admit she made a mistake, even if she did I dont know if I would be receptive to her attempts to reconcile if she ever thought that way after everything that happened. I feel gutted, and I dont know after all that has happened if I could ever trust her again. Some of the things she has done is way beyond being cold, cruel would be more descriptive.

Well, today I get a call from my attorney, he says the W is to appear in court in the morning to obtain a emergency order of protection, I asked what the grounds were, he stated she is claiming I threatened her.

Funny, havent spoken with her for over a week and the last conversation was in regards to her calling and wanting to have my son on the afternoon that was my day with him.

The orders in this state are issued like candy, and are pretty much standard in divorce cases, it actually makes things easier for me if she starts her rampage on the phone with numerous calls or e-mails, I cannot respond, that folks is a good thing.

There have been several times I have sat with the phone in hand and simply kept hanging up on her, lucky for me, there has always been someone with me when she was on one of her rages and others that were have asked me if she is crazy.

I could easily make the claim that SHE is the one that has harrassed me, but I am not going to bother to go through the expense or trouble.

Guess I'm back to the she makes me sick mode...lol

Rookie

Are you now going to avail yourself of a third party to help in the pick up and drop off of your son?

The only people in the area that would be available for that would be her parents and that would be like placing the noose around my neck myself if I complied with that.

I will agree to exchanging him in a public place like a McDonalds or a Burger King where I will arrive with him in my vehicle, windows up and I will not exit the car.

I keep thinking this cant get any crazier, each time she prooves me wrong.

Now the 'fun' begins, so you better get ready for a slew of phone calls and e-mails from her.

How long before you sell the house?

Sure as I am sitting here she will try to contact me in regards to some kind of contrived emergency concerning my son, then try to bait me into a conversation.

The answer is simple, if it is a emergency which hospital should I respond to, if it is in regards to any other issues concerning my son, put it in writting and I will hang up.

e-mails, as of now I have removed her from my address book, funny I did save e-mails I sent her in early Sept. that I would only correspond with her via:e-mail as I would not subject myself to any further false claims by her, glad I put all those in a e-mail folder

Actually this order helps immensley, as I can simply hangup on her or not respond to her e-mails, by her choice to be a idiot, she is enforcing a total plan b and making it simple.

Only hard part will be that I will not let my son call from my cell or house phone, if she did she could claim I was the one that called and made one of those threats, I am still trying to figure that one out, but she would have a record of a call originating from my phones.

I will have to tell my son that I could be placed in jail for violating the order if such a claim was made, that is the rough part of the insanity she created. But otherwise I accept this as a blessing in disguise, I will never tell her that, but....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rookie:

Only hard part will be that I will not let my son call from my cell or house phone, if she did she could claim I was the one that called and made one of those threats, I am still trying to figure that one out, but she would have a record of a call originating from my phones.

I will have to tell my son that I could be placed in jail for violating the order if such a claim was made, that is the rough part of the insanity she created. But otherwise I accept this as a blessing in disguise, I will never tell her that, but....</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Did you ask your attorney about this?

TMCM, not being a smart ars, but on the job experience in these order of protection issues?, I have a immense amount of.

As I stated earlier, in this state a W can obtain one very easily, then they use it as a whip to control the divorce to their liking if the H is stupid enought to violate it in any matter, which in this state does wind ya in the cooler for a time.

I have seen many abuses of these orders and do not need a attorney to tell me that, again this is said with respect as I have been put in the position on the job to enforce these orders.

In my case, I will not take ANY chance of her making any further false claims against me.

While on the subject of these orders of protection, Police DO feel they are the biggest violation of constitutional rights that ever were, in that a man can be tossed out of his house, based soley on his W's testimony with no supporting evidence. He can loose everything he worked for as when the sheriff shows with the order, the H is usually immediatley removed from the residence. I have seen more than several instances where a self employed capenter, mechanic and the like were tossed from their home, then had all his tools and such given away to her relatives or sold.

Bill Clinton can debate the meaning of IT for days on the stand to calrify accusations against him, but in this state all it takes is the accusation of a woman who just might have ulterior motives for a guy to loose everything, I am sure all the woman libers out there are proud of that one, but it is the God given truth and it made me sick enforcing some of these orders.

I have seen a FEW in my career which were legitimate, but most were used to manuever the divorce along to her favor.

If she has resorted to this tactic, you may want to consider going for her jugular (legally of course).

TMSM, sometimes the best offense is no offense at all,

Should I go for the juglar it would just prolong the divorce, I am to the point I want this over as soon as possible. To do that, if I would start going after her it would simply take longer.

Most times simply letting things go with the flow is the best way.

Last night my son asked me why I didnt ask for him in the divorce and why did I just let mom have him.

My answer was honest and simple, the W parents have money, they would finance any child custody hearing to the point that I would find it impossible to go on with it.

He then asked if my mother had money to finance a custody hearing. She does not.

I informed him that if he chose to live with me, all he would have to do is say so, without explaining it to him, the courts would grant me custody, the only fight she would have is to find me as a unfit father, well, I dont drink, I am retired and available to him 24x7, am not involved with anyone at all, let alone a person who's been arrested for alcohol related offenses or of such a moral standing that he left his OWN child to have a A with a married woman.

The point of this is, if my S was not thinking aboout moving in with me, he never would have asked that question. Once introduced to the knight in shinning armor that she brings home, it is just a matter of time.

I want to establish my OWN residence and get on with my life so when that day does come there can be no arguement.

I still have honored my vows and have not gone out with other women, let's compare her moral standards and mine in a court of law and let them determine who is the parent that is more stable.

She does not stand a chance, and it would cost me nothing more than the price to file the paperwork at that point should the son ask. I think that is one of her fears and the reason for filing this OP, she is trying to establish that I am not as stable as I am. Good luck.

I receieved the first phone call from the W this morning. Fortunatley, it was on my cell and the battery was dead as I left it on all night. As I plugged it in for recharge the message was there.

She wants me to take our son trick or treating in OUR neighborhood on Sunday as he doesnt wasnt to go where he is presently living, although it is in the same city, bout 2 miles away.

Two things here, first the son is not all that comfortable as to where he is currently living and want to be around his friends.

Second, there would be nothing to prohibit HER from taking him in the neighborhood, it is my belief that she is too embarassed to face the neighbors knowing what she is doing and for the fear they also know.

Makes me think that this whole situation is bothering her and she is not so solid in her beliefs as she like to put off that she is.

I will take my S, although it is her day to have him, it will be a good time.

Rookie you and your son will be enjoying a wholesome evening of trick or treating while she digs herself deeper and deeper into an emotional and spiritual pit of her own making. The worst betrayal she commited was ultimately against herself.

She actually did me a favor, I was bummed that she was going to have him on that day, now it is one I can enjoy. I'd thank her, but I cant talk to her....lol

I love trick or treating, it's just too bad that my youngest has already decided that she's too old for it. Oh well, maybe when I become a grandfrather I'll get the chance to take my grandchildren out for a night of fun.

Hi Rookie,

Just came to say "Hi", I have been soooo busy lately, that I hardly get time here anymore.
But just to let you know I'm thinking of you.

I think your son is having a difficult time <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> , but I'm glad he can talk to you the way he does. He misses living w/ you!!!!! He misses his home, his "whole" family. It sounds like he wants to live w/ you. I would love nothing more than to see him live w/ you. He has gone through a lot of pain, and now he is in a place he is not at all comfortable <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> with. Who would be???? Poor little guy!! I know you would win in court!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

Lady, I am not sure he knows exactly as to what he wants at this point. He loves both of us and wants to beleive mom and me, but with the daily dose of how terrible I am shovled to him by the W and IL'S he is confused, I just have to make life as stable for him as possible and treat him with the respect and love that he deserves. In time, he will know, I wont have to say anything or do anything. Kids do pick up this stuff on their own.

I was awoke this morning by the Sheriff's office and served with the order of protection, laughable when I read it.

The order simply states that I am not to e-mail her at work or leave voice mail for either her or her co-workers, but it is OK to call her house or e-mail at home, sounds more than crazy when you are applying for a emergency order stating you fear the other party.

The judge did order that we BOTH get a psychiatric evaluation. Made me laugh that I have been involved in many orders when I was on the job and this is the 1st that I have seen that the petitioner ordered to have that evaluation, seems like she must have made a impression on the judge and that he has qustions and something just isnt right.

The other part of it is that now the evaluation report will be part of the record in the divorce proceedings, available to the judge who oversees the divorce. Had she not acted the way she did, the divorce would have gone foreward under the auspices of irreconcilable differences. Now, the evaluation will contain all the gory details for the judge to review, again, whether or not she understands this, she did me a MAJOR favor.

How does that old saying go? 'Give a man (or woman) enough rope and (s)he'll hang him/herself.'

Weird, she gets a order of protection against me saying I cant call her or e-mail her at work.

Today so far she has called three times, all issues that she could have resolved herself or were self explanitory, such as I called the realtor told her to drop the price of the house to a certain amount.

W calls says I spoke with realtor, repeats my conversation w/realtor and says she agrees, I say absolutley nothing and hang up.

Vent.. for no other purpose..

Well, the OP had his son overnight at his apt for the 1st time last night. My son was at the W's.
Since you could spit at each other through their open windows their aprt. are that close. I am curious if my son was introduced to the NEW kid in the complex.

My W told him she would not intro him to the OP till my S told her he was ready to meet him, very kind of her to be so concerned about his emotional well being.

Considering that both are still married to other people I find it deplorable to bring these kids into the A, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I am completely demoralized by the W trying to rationalize the A to my S, and to teach him that what she is doing is moral. My S is 10, he does not deserve to be exposed to this sordid A, as well as his S who is 8.

It makes me literally sick to think of what these two are teaching these kids.

The W drops my son off yesterday bout noon,it was her scheduled weekend with the S, tells son that she wished to speak with me.

I ask W what she needs, she askes, what is it going to take to speed the D along. I inform her that I have reviewed her proposed settlement with my attorney last week and that my attorney is now out of state. She would receive my proposal as soon as her attorney gets it. Says I am delaying the D. I advise her I am not signing anything that would be detrimental to myself. If she is in such a hurry to marry the OP, she is going to have to wait till the terms are mutually agrred upon.

Says, she wishes to discuss it further, I advise her I have nothing to say to her as I will not be accused of any further false claims and close the door on her.

S came to the house supposedly to trick or treat, he says he doesnt want to, brought his games, which we played till she picked him up at 4:45 Pm., and handed out candy to the trick or treaters.

She calls after she picks him up and asks what terms of her settlment proposal do I not agree with, I advised her to speak withher attorney as I would not discuss it with her, without thinking, I simply said, I still love who you WERE, there was no thought prior to blurting this out, it was wrong, but it did slide out, and I hung up.