<BR>H just called to say he's not coming. We only have one car and I have it and he doesn't have a ride. I even offered to go get him. He doesn't want me to have to do that. I plan A'd but now I'm a mess. I didn't argue with him or give him a hard time. I was as pleasant as pleasant can be. And what did it get me? Shot down!!! F**K THIS!!! I quit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mitzi, please don't give up - you've had far more positive signs than many of us here have ever gotten. And if your husband has no car to drive, how *could* he come over? As for him shooting down your offer to come out and get him, perhaps you need not to ask him but to tell him: "OK, be ready, I'm coming over to get you right now." And see what the response is. He may truly only be concerned about putting you out (how far is it?), or he might be using it as an excuse, it's impossible to tell.<P>But you aren't at a quitting point yet. Read my profile and see what we all can do...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P>

Terri,<BR>Thanks for answering, I'm really at a bad place right now. I think the reason he didn't want me to come and get him was because he doesn't want the kids to be where she lives. He doesnt want them to be exposed to too much yet. I love him so much. He was nice about everything but it just hurts so much. He did say that he would see us tomorrow but I really was prepared tosee him today. I was so excited!! Maybe that's why it bothers me so much. I just want to sleep until tomorrow.

Mitzi,<P>unmet expectations are a killer. I know all to well.<P>Please don't give up. Teri's right you have been getting some good signs.<P>You did real god not LBing. He will remember that.<P>My objective is to create a safe place for W to come to when she crashes. Thats all I can do for now.<P>It sounds like youe H is understanding this.<P>Try not to let this ruin your day. Its real hard I know. Vent cry scream do what it takes just get it out of you. These feelings will pass.<P>I wish I had a magic wand. All I have is time and patience. They a hard to accept. I have to though if I want to stay sane.<P>Make new plans to be with people that love you, and wait for the next opportunity.<P>Bill<P>"commit to the Lord what ever you do, and your plans will succeed" Proverbs16:3<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

I know that feeling, really I do. And it is good for him to be concerned about the kids. It shows he hasn't completely lost his marbles. We don't have any kids, just our two kitties - I don't know how he left them since he loves them so much ... so it is nearly impossible for me to understand how a man (or woman) leaves children.<P>Hang in there ... this too shall pass and all those other boring cliches...<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

This sucks so bad!!! I basically had a good week, only a couple of bad moments. I guess I need to pray for patience. <BR>He does love his kids, although sometimes I used to wonder. Now I guess I just have to put the excitement on hold until tomorrow. But it always gets replaced by pain. It's agonizing!!! Maybe he is thinking. I told him again that I still loved him and that he could feel free to come home anytime. And I honestly mean that. I have forgiven him. I dealt with a lot in the years we were together and not once did I walk out. When I married him it was for life. How can they just give up???

MITZI- Sorry about this. I know you have heard others talk about the roller coaster ride. We are all on the same ride.UP & DOWN UP & DOWN. yesterday you were happy to see him now you are mad, cuse you expected so much. thats ok though. I did it too, and I got shot down also. This is just the down side of the ride from HELL. <P>Remember not to LB. even if things arent good now LBing wont help at all.<P>Hang in there.<P>Paul<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Mitzi...<P>..."How can they just give up???"....<P>From <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"</A> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>An affair is a very powerful addiction. (page 56)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...that means almost anything can happen!<P>Stay here to vent... vent.. vent...<BR><B>We won't leave you!</B><P>Jim<BR>

I refuse to LB!!! If any LBing is going on it will be from him. I just wanted to see him. I didn't expect him to come running home today. I just miss seeing him. Just looking at him and hearing his voice. Is that too much to ask for. He is only 6 miles away and I can't see him. Makes me want to go and look in her windows just to get a look. I'm really looking forward to tomorrow! (just to see him , no unreal expectations)

Mitzi- these things are gonna happen, my W we would get along just fine for a while. She would invite me over for dinner, got out to eat with me, send e-mail. Thing were looking up for a while. <P>Then while she was with the OM I guess he would make her happier than I could and it would stop, she would get mad at the drop of a hat. It sucked very bad. What did I do. I did nothing. She was judt confused about evey thing, she didnt know what to do. She had told me earlier in our seperation that if she stayed mad at me it was easer for her to get over it. So she continues to stay mad.<P>------------------<BR>brownphdt<P>

Dear Mitzi,<P>I am so sorry for your disappointment. You have every right to be angry. But, as the others have said, NO LOVEBUSTING. You have been doing great girl. You will see him tomorrow. Shift your gameplans until then. Think positive thoughts for the new year. Treat yourself to something that you just LOVE tonight. Rent a good movie, eat some great party food. Be selfish and take a lot of time to pamper yourself tonight. Get a good night sleep tonight to prepare yourself for tomorrow. <P>These types of disappointments are, unfortunately, the norm for most of us. We fly high one minute only to be brought down the next. Following Dr. Harley's plan A works though. From following the posts on this site I have read about many successes. That will be you. It's just a long road to hoe before getting there.<P>Happy New Year!<P>Meg

Meg, Thanks for the boost. I'm calming down now. I feel like kicking a hole in the wall or something. Where's that d*** 2X4 everyone's always talking about??? I know someone who needs a few whacks right now!!!

Mitzi,<P>I know of a few hundred "someones" that could use a whack right about now (all mentioned at this site) Whack them out of their addictions of 1999 and into some common sense for 2000. <P>Here's looking forward to better times in 2000.