my wife and have been going through magor strugles for the last couple weeks or so. we finally admitted that we had fallen out of love. she just got back from a trip, at that time and i could tell she wasnt telling me everything and there were some clues. well last night she finally told me she met someone, she swears there was no physical affair. i have no reason to believe there is and i take her word for it. but there is obviously some thing there. i am assuming that he met some of her emotional needs. i am lucky he lives 6hrs away by air. but it doesnt help.

i implimented plan A told her she need to break off all contact and keep it broke off or there is no way that we will ever be able to work it out.

today she still hasnt given me an aswere but she did tell me that she wanted to move out. we had talked about her moving out over the last few days. i told her i didnt want her to and gave my reasons most ppl that seperate never get back together blah blah blah. it was falling on deaf ears and i could tell it didnt matter what i said. she says she has no feeling for me other than just a friend.

she is staying the night at her moms and will be back tomorrow. what should i do stick with plan A and give her all the emotional support i should or should i move to plan b and tell her that its not fair to me to have any emotional contact with her until this guy is totaly out of the picture?????????

please help me i am so lost and hurt that i will probably do and say the wrong things.

thanks for your help

I assume you have read all MB concept and many of its post. I will go down to the business. You have to see what is your 50% of fault contibuting the demise of your M (WS owns 100% of fault of A). Look into that and don't LBed. I would not go into plan B right now unless your WW has other addiction other than OM !.

Don't LB'ed ... if you LB'ed you are not making her safe to come back.

-rh-

You are correct that most couples who separate usually divorce. In fact, you are setting yourself up for a horrible rollercoaster ride if you sit back and do nothing. Either she commits to working on the marriage or you should accept that the marriage is over. You should not allow her to have it both ways where she stays married and meanwhile is developing a relationship with another guy to see if she can trade you in.

thanks for the thoughs and oppinions.

UPDATE!!!!

she is going to stay with her parents for a while (thank god). like i said i again insisted that she break off all contact and again now answer. a few hours later i proposed that she break of all contact for seven days. she accepted somewhat reluctantly. i just got of the phone with her and told her that i thought it would be unfair to her emotional needs and was selfish of me to have her break off all contact for seven days with out me making some kind of sacrifice too. so i suggested the same seven days with OG and that we have no contact either until friday. we will see each other on wednesday there is no way around it she needs to bring our daughter home but i will keep it short and as emotionally free as posible.

this may not be a good solution but atleast it gets her to break off the contact for a few days and no emotional influence from either of us till friday. like i said before this guy is 6 hours away so i know he wont visit her. if he calls her i will know cause i can look at the cell phone records online and her parents would tell me if someone called there for her. i pray that this is a win win stituation. in the mean time i am reading Love Busters and trying to come up with ways to encourage her to give me another shot. just finished His Needs Her Needs, good book but LB seams to be giving me more info that i can use right now.

thanks for letting me vent