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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
my h says he has had n/c with o/w for 8 weeks now. he says he feels the same. doesn't know what he wants. loves me but isn't in love with me. he keeps looking in the paper for an apartment he had one about a month ago that was perfect but called the man and canceled. he looked at one last friday and said it was too small. i keep filling his e/n. he hasn't talked about moving in a few days but i am sure he will again. he keeps going back and fourth. i feel like why isn't everything i am doing working if he is not contacting o/w. how long can withdrawl go on before there is a change. de
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 69
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 69 |
I'm no expert and don't take me wrong, but after 8 weeks I would wonder if its severe depression or possibly there is still some form of contact? I pray it is only depression.
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 410
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 410 |
My money is on H still being in contact. Dont beleive nothing from H as this point, have you checked cell phone records, does he have to go to the store suddenly and comes back with next to nothing, what about you phone bills or caller ID.
I recieved the same crap for 7 mos from the W, that she was no longer calling him or seeing him.
The line, I love you but not in love with you is a classic, is he also telling you he feels no passion for you, and without passion he isnt going to stick around.
Not being cruel, justasking.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
rookie, i know your not trying to be cruel but the truth needs to be known. i check his cell phone our house phone the bills nothing points to it i keep comming up with no evidence but one thing i thought of he may have a calling card. i am going to bring it up at counseling that i think he is still in contact with o/w. see what happens. he couls lie there too. trust is so hard now. thanks for all your input i appreciate it. de
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 410
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 410 |
dekicks, that is the catch 22 you are in, if you ask him he is going to deny it, no doubt about it, but you dont have the evidence to confirm it.
I say follow your gut instinct, it's amazing how accurate that is, only you know your H well enough(at least you thought you did, no pun intended),
Only other thing would be a voice activated recorded under the seat of his car.
My W did the same thing with the calling card after I complained about the usage of the cell phone to conduct her A.
Good luck to you, God bless.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733 |
What are you doing right ? ... vent here and take no action <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> . What are you doing wrong ? .... nothing !. A is not "just happen" ... it takes time and planning !!!. So un-do that it would take time & planning and whole tons of patience. PTC - Presistent, Time & consistency ... Read Mark's post under Plan A is not for the weak of heart, it is about recovery actually. -rh-
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
rookie thank you so much for the advice i never thought of the voice activated recorder. i am going to get one right away i need to know i hope all is well with you. thanks again, de
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
ok i bought the voice activated recorder and put it under the seat of my H's car. that was thursday night 7/17. i feel so dishonest and sneaky. isn't that something!well he did not call her from his cell phone in his car.but now it is friday and i will do it again i hope he doesn't find it. because i really need the truth.the weekend will be the big test.i think if he was going to contact her it would be the best time for him. it is a funn y thing i don't know what is happening to me but i keep thinking of all the great things i will do if we split.sometimes i think maybe i'll be better off. don't get me wrong i love my husband he really is a great guy.he is one of those everybody loves.well i'll fill you in on the weekend thanks again for the tip on the recorder. de
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 5,733 |
dekicks, Be carefull what you wish for ... you might find outor get it and you might not like the answer. Don't react to him right away ... please vent here first to cool down ... then plan how R U going to chew his @ss <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . -rh-
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 77 |
ok redhat thank you i will vent here first my gut tells me he is talking to her just from listening to all the other stories. thanks, de
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