I wrote and sent a Plan B letter to my wife yesterday I felt relief, and then incredible remorse. All the while telling myself to stay the course. I am feeling drained and blue.
(Hey I'm fun!)
Anyway, I don't like what I did, but this is one of those times where you have to do what you do not like.
I actually thought it was a very good letter,written along the Harley guidelines.
I know the net effect will probably not amount to much, but I am prepared for the next step.
Sometimes I feel I am living someone elses life.
I did make a rare call to her,before I sent the B letter, to tell her of my frustration with her apparant lack of concern with her two sons. But before she got on the phone, OM answered. I had an attitude and demanded to speak to her. (This is not normally like me). Well next thing you know OM and I are at each others throats verbally.
The creep has the gall to say" Well, I got your wife".
My anger boiled over and I informd him that the last time she was here, we....ah...we ah...close your ears...had sex.(Didn't really happen,but who cares). We did last January (and he found out)
She then came into the room he was in and I overheard him asking her why she was cheating on
him.What irony.
And what a dirty shame it all had to wind up this way. I have certainly learned my lesson and have been continuing to make changes within myself. I have never been so drained in my life.
Anyway, just venting, and I hope tomorrow is better for all who are experiencing this.
TMCM, do not fear, I will not give in this time.
If she is to come back, it is up to her to do all of the things necessary to retrieve our relationship as uggested in your post.

Best to all!

Gregg, same position as you, cept the W is living at the parents home for now.
Take care of yourself and maintain, they have a game plan that is designed to drive us nuts, sommetimes it seems like it is working.

My W recieved her letter Monday, my contact with her today was 2 phone calls and 2 e-mails, they were about putting the house up for sale so she could afford the love shack, so my answers were VERY direct and I hung up.

Hang in there, we should have a BS party some time, we would have a hell of a conversation....might meet a few BS 's of the opposite sex also????????

GreggM you may have lost your cool with the OM but I can't fault you for telling him that you and your W had sex because, hopefully, now it will be him that will have to live with the mental images of you and her in bed together. I hope that those images drive him crazy.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by rookie:
<strong>Hang in there, we should have a BS party some time, we would have a hell of a conversation....might meet a few BS 's of the opposite sex also????????</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Aren't we in one right now ? ... Let's the party begin <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .LOL !. Unless you live in SF-Bay or planning to come, I am going to have picnic at SF-Zoo for BayArea MBer.

REMEMBER SF is SAN FRANCISCO ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> -rh-

To paraphrase Prince "Tonight I'm going to party like it's 1983" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I like replying to my own thread material. I just read a prety good book by a gentleman named Bob Huizenga, Break Free. While the intent is to demonstarte the seven types of affairs and the 12 things to avoid doing to retrieve a marriage, I found it a useful tool to strategize on how to get out of the marriage.
Even scales the possibilities of remaining married based on affair type. Good read. I feel much better already. Some excellent ideas. If anyone wants a copy let me know. Sorry one per customer only.

So did you find anything on what kind of A your WW's fall into? And what the chances of the marriage surviving it?

Well. it seems to be acombination of several based on the key points of each type of affair.
But it most closely resembles "The I fell out of love" (and I love the in love feeling) type of affair. The affair is actually rated for high probability of regaining the marriage.
However, as we have discussed in the past, her resolve to address addiction issues are of key importance.
TMCM, your earlier points in my No More Time thread are the key. I do not believe she will ever get to the point where she would really understand and employ all of deal breakers necessary for us to re-build.

Greg M - I would love a copy of the book! Let me know how I can get it.

My email is cherie@aikenprinting.com - I really would appreciated it. Thanks Cherie

Cherie,
Be glad to get you a copy of it. Just send a check or money order to....I'll only charge you double what I paid.....

Ralph Spoilsport
1455 Antelope Drive
City of Music, CA 55555

If you would like a copy I can give you my e-mail address......and you can then give me yours. I'll send you an electronic copy.
Hope this finds you well.

Best to you!

OK..I missed your e-mail address on your post. DUH......
By the way ..for anyone who is interested...I am filing for DIVORCE on Tuesday...I wrote/sent the Plan B letter...no response...and do not care to get one....it is sad though.

Best to all!

GreggM,

Can you send me an electronic copy please to 2 addresses. mackenzie97@usadatanet.net
and ralph3370@yahoo.com Thanks.

NW

Gregg M,
I too would like a copy of the book. My email address is swan0066@hotmail.com
Thanks
H

Gregg M.,

Delete your info on the prior post, for your own protection.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>By the way ..for anyone who is interested...I am filing for DIVORCE on Tuesday...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Why not let her do it ?. Just sit back, let Plan B works out for you and NC. The blood of Dv would not be on your hand.

-rh-

Redhat:

Well for two reasons.

1/ She simply will not do it. She says she will, but regardless, this could go on for years.

2/ I would like to move on with life. Her alcohol addiction simply will not allow her to see what the NC letter is really all about. I have gotten her into treatment,she went back to drinking. She will simply continue to cake eat. She also went back to other alcoholic man so she would know that is safe to drink.

And, she is now a resident of another state. The laws do not favor this family as much if she gets the drop first. . After all that has happened, I simply want to get out and move on.

To all those I promised a copy. Bad news. The book is copy righted and I cannot simply send a copy to those of you who want it. It simply is not the right thing to do. I was wrong to announce this. My apologies.
However, his website is

www.bobhuiezenga.com

GreggM they can download two free e-books(very short e-books with tips 2 or 3 pages long) from the link you gave them IF they provide their name and e-mail address. They are titled 7 Powerful Tactics To Break Free From The Affair And Stop It Now and 12 Unattractive, Ugly, Typical Tactics Most People Use. They are very informative and right on the money.

Gregg,

You have tuesday to think about it. Think hard. Plan B letter is not for her to react but for you to protect what is left of LB$. Having say that I did the same on last August to petition the judge to give me Dv status. I have moved on since then.

Check my motto ... have no regret.

-rh-

GreggM I can understand your decision to divorce your W, and you have every right to do so, but would it hurt to give yourself at least a few months of Plan B? Remember that Plan B is for you and it can either be the groundwork for a marital recovery or the groundwork for an emotionally succesful divorce.

Redhat, TMCM ; OK.So what you are saying is don't be so quick on the draw ? Make sure my emotions are clear? Perhaps you are right. It could be a case of irrational exuberance. Love that phrase.

No, it probably would not hurt to wait a couple of months or three. Hell, I have come this far. I still want to talk to my lawyer on Tuesday.

Redhat, are you suggesting that I could go throught the whole process and basically put it frony of a judge and ask for time....while Plan B is in place?