How are you? I hope this e-mail finds you well and are having a good day. I'm just checking in to tell you that I'm okay. I've been so busy with life in general. I started a new diet a few weeks back and the change has begun...I'm transforming...right before my very own eyes. Now, with the weight dropping, the skin tanning, the new smile and getting ready for the fall semester. Met with a counselor about picking my courses for the Fall and it was really exciting. Funny enough, I find excitement in going "back" to school. I guess the familiar is always good, as I am quite a good student. The kids are really excited as well...they think it is neat that Mom/Mommy goes to school too. I'm pretty much ready for them as well...just need to purchase uniforms and they are all ready to rock and roll.

As for my H...well, we spoke and e-mailed last week and it was very, very nice. However, I felt like I was doing wrong. I felt like a third wheel in his new relationship. I instituted Plan B...no contact. I know I should have re-written the letter, but I couldn't...I was too emotional. I love him of course, but, I need to be loved in return as much. I want to work on us so much and am ready to. I just need to know and feel confident that he is as well. Sometimes I feel as if he misses me and the kids, other times I feel he doesn't. I am stronger and look great (everyone says I'm a new person). Yet, that little part of my life is still unsettled. I hope he comes around eventually. I miss him and hope that he misses me too, yet I know, that until he let her go, I need to be strong. Your kind and wisdomful words are always appreciated.

Kimmie

karena,

After my H's A, I too went back to school, and LOVE school and learning. It was a big shot in the arm for my confidence and I showed H a side of me that he had forgotten. He always respected my intelligence. I made a 4.0 my first semester and my kids where so impressed. It was a great idea. I'm so happy to see you using this time to improve yourself.

Tell me, what made you feel as though you were cheating? Just the fact that you were talking to H on email? You should keep contact to a minimum, but be aware of the signs too. I know you want to stop loving him.....but you still do....and you know? that's WAY okay.

Stick to your Plan B. You don't know how close you are to a break through....but at the six week mark or so, I suspect you'll see some real signs of a break through. If not, all that you are doing will help you move towards healthy separation. But I don't believe for a minute that this is over yet.

You remain in my thoughts. If you wish to email me or IM let me know.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ July 31, 2003, 03:11 PM: Message edited by: star*fish ]</small>

I've deleted now.....too many spooks! So I'm careful about putting info out. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />