Well, here it is. New Years Eve. My wife is going to work at a bar this evening. I really wanted to spend the evening with her. She said that she will be thinking of me when the clock strikes midnight. But how do I know that I can trust her again? I mean I am in the military and about to leave for two months, again, and I do not trust her to not betray me again. It was only once, and a 'one night stand' but I still have a hard time believing her.<BR>She told me today that she WAS looking for a soulmate, whatever that definiation is, in the beginning, but in reality she was really looking for someone like ME!!! We are both trying. Some love unit's have been deposited into her love bank, but not many into mine. I mean we make love, and do the things we use to do together, but they don't seem the same. I am on anti-depressiant medication. It seems to help, but I still don't feel the same way that I use to. She wants to know when I will be able to trust her again. I want to know the same thing. Does anyone have any idea how long the 'healing' process has to take? Keep in mind. I am not a patient man. I would love to be with her tonight while she works, but I can't find a babysitter for my two boys. <P>------------------<BR>DP

D1P,<P>It takes a long time for the trust to return. A lot has to do with how you treat each other. With you leaving soon it will be very hard to trust, but you really have no choice. Maybe you two can think of something that will help both of you. Stay in as close a contact as you can, keep talking to each other. <P>She has chosen you. But she does sound just a little immature. She must know that you want to be with her. These things don't occur often and the chances should be taken to build up good memories.<P>I really don't have much to say except Hang in there. If you and she want it to work, it will.<P>God Bless<P>JL

Thanks. I did not think of it that away. She does kind of sound like she is being selfish. But the money would come in handy to pay off bills. But that still does not make it better.<P>------------------<BR>DP

D1P,<P> I just wanted to say that your wife made a mistake. There is no excuse for what she did. Trust me when I tell you that she probably is kicking herself in the @$$ for hurting you. I'm speaking from my own personal experience. I had a one night stand and I couldn't explain to you the guilt I felt. The guilt almost overcame me until I had to learn to forgive myself. I think it is unfair for her to pressure you for your trust. That will take time, who knows how long. I know you say that you are not a patient man, but ask for God's strength. Only you know your tolerance level. Be honest with her on how you feel. <P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>

D1P -- <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Keep in mind. I am not a patient man.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Patience my a$$, I'm gonna kill something. . .<P>I too am a very impatient person by nature. I truly dislike procrastination and indecision (sp?) Unfortunately surviving infidelity requires that we learn to have the patience of Job. <P>I am afraid that there is no time table that any of us can give you. Each of our situations is unique, and things will happen when they happen. Hang in there.<P>God Bless