I know everybody thinks differently, but there are two sayings i've found in MB " out of sight, out of mind" and "absence makes the heart grow fonder" which of the two do you think is more true?

wife moved out today, been trying plan a the past 6 weeks i'm going to try plan b for my own sake. i just don't know if by doing this it will drive my w farther away.

TROD,

Both are correct ... It depends on the relationship before the separation. If you have a good history of M and fillin most of your WW plus if OM unable to take over the void ... her heart grow founder. The reverse would be true and you would be out of her mind.

Which one are you to your WW ?. What are the complaints that your WW has on you in M ? Have you work on it in plan A ?. Unless you have no part of creating the environment lead to A ... 6 weeks is to short for any plan A.

-rh-

Since I am the OW, having reconnected with my HS school sweetheart after 42 years, I can say each time we have to part it is worse--we realize now only our love matters. None of this no contact-moving away etc etc matters-if your aren't in love with your partner, let it go--for god sakes, you can not make someone love you.

I think you really have to evaluate what your W was looking for when she hooked up with this guy. Many wives feel neglected, alone, sometimes romance is the problem. I say if you can put your feelings aside and you still love her and want your marriage to work, romance her. Send her flowers or a card just to let her know you are thinking about her. Call her during your day and let her know you love her. Invite her out for a romantic dinner for two. Tell her how beautiful she is frequently. Just let her know you are always thinking about her. If she loves you anymore the attention will be enough to bring her around, she won't be able to get enough of you. Don't just give up and let the other man have her. Women tend to take "letting her do as she wants" and letting her walk out the door as their husband not caring enough to fight for her and for your marriage. If this is true letting her go and ignoring her just pushes her into his arms, and makes her think you don't care about her or what she does anymore. Just think about what I say okay.

And for highschool sweetheart, no one is trying to make someone love them. There had to be love there in the first place for two people to get married and spend 8 years together. If I understand correctly you have become a homewreaker and you are proud of it. I ask you what has happened to your moral fibers. Women should always respect another woman's marriage because one day it will be your husband on the line and wouldn't you prefer someone respects yours'?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by highschoolsweetheart:
<strong>None of this no contact-moving away etc etc matters-if your aren't in love with your partner, let it go--for god sakes, you can not make someone love you.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">First in-love like the one that you are in right now it could be manufactured .... LOVE IS A CHOICE. Our choice is to stay trying for many reasons ... it might be there are innocent bystander (Children) involve but for sure there is LOVE involve from this man to hiw WW. Until DV is signed we are bound to our M.

Now about you highschoolsweetheart, do you find him exactly match what you remember about him ?. Are you WW ? Is he MM ?. why are you here ? trouble in la la land ?. Remember this is MB board, you might be fit in TOW board.

-rh-

To highschool sweetheart. Its sad to her someone with an attitude like yours. You don't just throw marriages away and move on. You will have the same problems in your next marriage. its much better to try to work out the one you have. I bet you will spend the rest of your life searching for happiness until you fix yourself.......