I did a 6 month strong Plan A from day 1 and my husband fell back in love with me. Only problem is that he loved the cake eating.But that is Plan A. I was on my way to Plan B, to get him to jump off the fence, when I suddenly found out his A was not a one time thing, but he had been unfaithful for 5 yrs.
I wrecked my strong Plan A, because I got so shocked and devastated about the extent of the cheating that I love bustered him big time. The whole essence of the Plan A and B is to do them CONSISTENTLY. I´m afraid my WH is and was still so much in the fog, that he could not see why I got so shocked and devastated. For him it was in the past.
So lately I´ve been doing a middle thing, not really in a Plan A or B, meeting needs, withdrawing,love busting, and it sucks because its not working. The problem is that I have been so drained by the last findings that I don´t know whether I´ve got the energy to do more of a plan A? But it is important that when you go to Plan B, the last impression your WS has of you is a good one, one where the WS sees the attractiveness in you as a partner.
I´m struggling with the question, do I have the energy to make a good last impression with a short Plan A or will it do ME more bad than good. If it does me more bad,then I have to go to Plan B to protect myself. But the outcome might be an inevitable divorce, because I did not move into it with the good last impression.
I truly believe in this. It woeks. But you have to do it by the book. Else it will not work.
The book, just does not say anything about how to deal with double lies, shock and devastation...
Take care and do the plan. Its the healthiest way through the worst nightmare of your life. Trust me. I have tried this once b4 and 1st time around I just left. I still wonder what went wrong and wish we could have worked it out. The plan A and B will make it easier for you also to move past your pain if it should end up with a divorce. Because you can look back and say you did give it all you have got!
