This day, more than any other has had me thinking. Reviewing my life in general. . . <P>What have I accomplished? What have I learned? Why am I here? And so many others. . .<P><B>New Years Eve 1999</B> I asked a friend of mine the other day if he could remember even imagining this day when he was in high school. He is 4 months younger than I am. . . His response was very simialr to mine. This day was so far in the future, it may as well have been science fiction. Even as I have grown older this day was not something I ever really thought about.<P>Think of all the things which have happened in the last 40 years or so . . . New Years Day 2000 is just a few hours away for me, and I find myself thinking about each accomplishement which has been made for myself, for the country, for the world.<P>______________<P>You know, having lived through the HELL we all have has been something I never imagined I would be able to survive. I have learned to trust my heart and soul, my deepest feelings to a bunch of nameless, faceless people. The members of the Marriage Builders Infidelity Forum have become closer to me than my own family in a great many ways. Even though we will probably never meet face to face, I have grown to love you all.<P>I have learned so many things over the past few years. . .The price has been very very high. At times I felt the pain to be unbearable., and I have also felt the happiness to be almost overwhelming. . . <P>One thing I have discovered, comes to mind more than the rest. . . I have always been a strong person. I never really allowed anything to effect me. It's almost as if I had no emotions at all. In the last year, I have found myself being very emotional. I watch a touching movie, I see a news story, I watch a child play, or a child cry. . .and I find myself having to fight the tears. Things which I never gave so much as a second thought to, now have me ready to bawl my eyes out.<P>_____________<P>My friends, I realize that I am rambling here, so let me finish by saying that I pray that each and every one of you will know the love our Lord Jesus has for each of us. That you will wake tomorrow to find that <B>2000</B> is the beginning of the most glorious time in each of our lives.<P>God Bless you all and Happy New Year.

Hey ES,<P>Boy I'm with you on the emotional stuff. I have learned so much here from all you guys. It's like I was reborn or something. If I would have found this place a year ago we would still be together and happy. <P>I'm seeing so many things that I never really took notice too before. The birds chirping in the trees, the smell of flowers, the sunset and even traffic lights. <P>Have a GREAT NEW YEAR!<P>Tim

This place has been a lifesaver for me. As Medic put it: "If I had found this place a year ago, we'd still be married." Ain't it just a kick in the a**.

Hi ES -<P>Great reflections .......<P>I have also pondered how the "year 2000" had a science fiction aura about it growing up...and even into my 30's!!!!<P>My H is petrified of it...never thought of life beyond it. A factor in all this mess? Who knows.....would be great if he realizes that life is going to continue and wakes himself up!!!<P>Ah well, TIME.....<P>The very best is wished for you, Hopeful and your D!!! You all will be moving forward into the peace, fulfillment and happiness that you have fought for. It has started already with the new job, etc. (How is that going by the way?)<P>Have a wonderful evening and let's toast to all of us.........may we all begin our journeys to some glorious futures!!<P>Happy New Year!!!!!! (clink!)<P>Medic.....just glanced at your current thread ...don't make me come there !!! LOL! PA is not that far from me and I will bring you a puppy....only I worry about you and your lighter!!!! LOL!!!<P>Seriously.....I think that these feelings are part of this process!! If not, then look at what you said about it being similar to your first marriage...maybe it's a pattern you need to break!!! Just some thoughts..ride them out and see what happens!!! And keep being a good boy!!! LOL!!<P>HUGS to you both,<P>Sheba <p>[This message has been edited by Sheba (edited December 31, 1999).]

HI All,<BR>I am joining the at home alone NYE celebators here!! I went to a party, but things were weird....wanted to exit, stage left stat, and did. Whew. <BR>Ahhh, the reflections. It has been a year from hell, a year I never want to repeat, and a year of so much personal growth that the roots are coming out my ear canals. (go ahead medic, be gross)<BR>Cheers to all of you. Thank you all for the support for the past 14 mos!!!!

OH SHEBA,<P>You know that NB is still suffering night terrors from the scars of that thread. It's funny I looked that up earlier this week and it still makes me laugh.<P>Could you make it a Siberian Husky? He has to be a little mean. I have his name picked out already. Adolf, after the meat tenderizer. Get it? And he would have to learn to attack and eat the OP.<P>Tim

Actually Medic - I have some 7 week old Bichon's ...... my SIL is a breeder!!<P>Played with a litter of 6 on XMas...it was great!! They are little yappy dogs but they are teething so they jump at you and nip like piranha's!!!!<P><BR>I think you should start small....don't forget you get mad at kitties for meowing!!!! LOL!!!!<P>CL - Happy New Year!!!!! Thanks for all you have done for us!!<P>ES - C'mon join in here!!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hey Sheba,<P>Here we go again taking over someone elses thread.<P>Are these the little ankle biter type dogs? We had a Pekinese for the last 6 years. Squiggy went with Val. That's her dog. We got him from the SPCA. He was going to be destroyed the following day if we would not have adopted him. He is the greatest little guy. He was abused in his previous home. Always freaked out when I pulled out the newspaper. They must have hit him with it. I miss him and sometimes Val.<P>Hey CL,<P>I think almost everyone here would like to forget about 1999. I will be nice and leave your ears alone.... for now... no promises <P><BR>Zippy the pinhead.<P>

Hi guys, I'm still here. I went out was was doing somew jigsaw puzzles on line. Made one of them really hard, and just finished. <P>Lets see 2-1/2 hours till 2000 here in Colorado. and so far everything is still working.<P>MEDIC238 -- You know, discovering (or maybe rediscovering) emotions wouldn't be so bad if they did come on <B>RIGHT NOW</B>. There have been times when I have been alone in the car, and I see something, or hear a song, or what ever, and all of a sudden I'm bawling like a baby.<P>Mitzi -- <B>IF</B> just a simple little word in the middle of LIFE . . . . <P>Sheba -- My dear friend. . .Whenever I think of my friends here at MB, you name is one of the very first that comes to mind. . .<P>The new job is going OK. It's not exactly what I want to be doing. I actually took a step backward to take this job. I have already impressed several people, and this morning at work, I was talking with one of my bosses . . . He seems to already respect my knowledge. Hopefully that is a good thing. Time will tell.<P>cl -- <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>so much personal growth that the roots are coming out my ear canals<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>This wouldn't be so bad if the the damn roots didn't itch so much . . . <P>Happy New Year Guys and Gals. I love you guys.<P>God Bless

Hey ES,<P>Yeah, I know where you are coming from. Val called me today to wish me a happy new year. When saying good bye, she said "I love you". I couldn't say the words back to her. <P>I told my partner that I had to check on the kids at home and hopped in the ambulance. BS story. I had to get away. I felt that I was going to break down in tears because I just couldn't bring myself to tell her that I love her too.<P>Talk about going from one extreme to another. <P>Sorry that the new job is only OK. This year is going to be our year!<P>Tim

MEDIC238 -- Thank you , but the job really isn't that bad. I knew going into it that I was taking the backward step.<P>It's not what I want to be doing, but the pay is better than my last job, and the training oportunities are there.<P>I'm just inpatient. . .I have to learn to bide my time.

Hey ES,<P>If we only learn one thing from this journey that we are on, I believe it would be patience. It's either that or I will have to get a .45 from my FIL and hunt down and kill the OM at point blank range starting in the lower extremities, working my way up and emptying the clip into his lifeless body. He lives in a two bit boro and the last crime that they had was a murder/suicide. The police are still looking for suspects.<P>As you can see, I haven't really though about this much. <P>RE the job.[Just Over Broke] I had a conversation with some of my guys regarding having a high paying job vs a career that you really enjoy. The consensus was that we would rather like doing the work that we perform and eat dirt.<P>The sad part is that where I worked before breaking out and starting my own business the mechanic that changed the damned oil was paid more than I was. I had top seniority. Highest paid paramedic, and this, no offense, grease monkey made more an hour than I did.<P>He fixed the trucks. I fixed the people.<P>Looks like I am babbling like a brook.<P>Everything is still working here in Pennsy.<P>See Ya Bud.<P>Tim

MEDIC238 -- Glad to hear that you're still working after Y2K.<P>Hey, I understand enjoyment vs pay. The thing is that I really like the work I know. But in order to continue, and still be able to support my family, I need some very expensive certifications. I work on computers.<P>The last job I had I did what I enjoyed, but the company refused to train me. In order to have the opportunity for the training, I had to take this backward step. Now I have to take advantage of the training opportunities, and get back to the work I enjoy.<P>Make Sense??

Hi all,<BR> Remember the movie"2001"?Flying in spaceships to Jupiter. Didn't quite make it that far,did we? Still 1 1/2 hours to go,here on the west coast and I still have my power and water(no mass rioting in the streets,either).The local stores sold out their bottled water,and Duraflame logs.Hopefully we won't need them.Sheba,my folks have a Bichon.Cute little dog with a real personality.Even plays with my 135 Lb Dobie. <BR> Yeah,this board has been a real lifesaver.It's nice not to go through this [censored] alone.Been a real long year,but I feel I haven't done much.Too much of a basketcase.<BR>Well,I hope everyone here has a better year than last.By the way,where did [censored] Clark's Rockin' New Year go,anyhow? --Murph<BR> <BR> P.S.-Don't forget to date the next check you write,"00".

ES,<P>Makes perfect sense. I believe Mr. Spock said it best when he made reference to the good of the many far outweigh the good of the few or the one. Of course he did die but came back in the sequil so it's alright. That and they shot him out of a photon torpedo bay. You are doing what's best for your many. [fam]<P>I left a cushy management job to start my own company. Now that is dumb. What the F was I thinking? I did fall down the cellar steps as a child.<P>Ya gotta do what ya gotta do!<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

ES,<P>I couldn't have decribed those sentiments any better.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Morning all,<BR>Happy New Year Day to each and every one of you. The sunrise was spectaular this morning. A perfect way to start the New Year-so fresh, so cleansing to see!! <BR>Yikes, bichons and pekinese? Better keep my boys on a leash, one bite and they would be gone. Skud is an english bulldog-sweet as can be, but has a definite attitude abt tiny dogs. At the shows, I have to steer clear of that area because he gets all wound up. But he plays with the cat and other dogs very gently. Likely he needs counseling too.<BR>Lots of gunfire here at midnight too. I could hear it echoing in the canyons. But we are rural, it is an expected tradition, and there is no threat. In a neighborhood? Gads, that is very irresponsible. Stupid.<BR>Wishing all of you a very sepcial New Year, one with happiness and healing throughout. <BR>((((hugs)))) cl