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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 147
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 147 |
Hi all. I have been seeing some progress using this plan with my wife. She called me a few times last week and stopped by to visit although I wasn't around. I was real hopeful about it but she still doesn't seem to care about me at all.
We talk like strangers sometimes about such mundane topics like the weather. My question is how do you get someone to care about you if that person doesn't want to be with you? and how do you avoid feeling resentment for the pain they cause?
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 475
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 475 |
Hi Coughlin,
While I don't have any real answers to your questions I am in the same boat. I've been befriending WW lately and we've talked.
She even visited but our conversations were just like strangers as were yours. It's very awkward and uncomfortable at times to just think of things to talk about.
For me, I'm thinking- Stick to Plan A and re-build a friendship back up that may eventually resume a marriage. It's just like starting all over.
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 627
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Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 627 |
C,
the answer to your question is simple...you can't make your W care about you! she has to want to do that on her own. all you can do is put your best foot forward...projecting to her the image of a man deserving tp be cared about.
look, you're working at this thing and you want to see tangible reasults but guess what...we don't always get what we want...but maybe if you work the plan correctly and continue to do it over a long period of time....maybe she will begin to see you differently.
coach
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 147
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 147 |
Thanks Eduard and Coach. It's just frustrating to have to go through this and not see any positive results. The most painful thing is to see how differently my wife reacts to me now. I wonder if it'll ever change for the better.
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 351
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 351 |
I'm with you man. Same thing when we do talk.
The only advice I can offer is something I was told and it makes sence.
It took our wives and our marriages time to reach a point that an affair could happen. It then took time for the affair to run its course. Repairing the damage will also take time.
Simple put something that may have taken months or years to happen will not be fixed in days or weeks.
Hang on to the fact the your WW is calling you and you are talking, I would love that oppertunity.
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