Stephan,

My writing skill is not any better <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" /> , English is my third language. Thanks for the clarification on PPO.

Try to hang in there. It is hard and BS tend to rush into action. Be patience and let the fact verify your info. In plan A you should not expect anything in return. You would feel like doormat but the focus in "fixing" your part and remove her justifications/excuses for A. As long as you avoid LB'ng you could inform your W about your feeling. You need to get PPO out of the way since this will impact in your job application if it ever gets out of hand. Also if WW think of you as conflict avoidant person, this would change her view.

-rh-

For the last few days my W thought i had a girlfriend. I informed her i was going out of town on Sunday. When she asked if i had a girlfriend, i said yeppers! Referring to her, only she didn't know this. She became guite nice. Even im'ed me last nite. Sent me two emails talking about children and asking to let her know of my plans for Sunday. Either pick them up after my excursion, or to let her know. She refused to drop children off with my 14 YD. Adding that shes mom, and she aint diseased.
When she dropped children off, we were getting along great!!! She showed me what she bought for our 5 YD.
Eventually she came in the house, noticed the PPO protest papers, and she started scolding me, stating what a liar i'am,,, so i ended up giving her an angry outburst!!! I settled down, then accepted responsibility, and explained as to why i allowed that, and that her accusation felt as another attack, and it hurt.

I asked what she needed from me, to work on saving marriage. Her reply was, act like i give a $****,, learn how to compromise, and send her the proposal for joint custody. So we can begin to negotiate. Me saying what i wanted, her saying what she wanted, then we can begin to negotiate.
I shared with her that i still do not want any D, and this sounds as if i'll be agreeing to one, and i will refuse. Her reply was that D and custody are two seperate issues. Yes, maybe so, but they go hand in hand.

W informed me that i have broke PPO several times, i stated we both have, she says she has not, then asked me how i figure, i refused to answer her.

We were on the phone just aswhile ago, talked for quite some time again,,,

I ended up giving her my sincere apology for my angry outburst. Yes, i called her,,,
2x4 s m a c k !!

She would not agree to the POJA, saying its a price tag,, i inforned her if i agree to any joint custody, i want to know we are on the same chapter, working for the same thing,,, at one time she again said your son is still here,

I'm beginning to realize, that this is HOPELESS!!!@ Yes, i think im allowing myself to be PLAYED, and sucker00000ed!!!
Today i must admit though, we spoke about guite a bit. Even discussed her personal needs.
I will go crazy,,,,,,

Stephan,

You do what best for you ... it is your life anyway. We are here just to give a red flag and it is up to you to take it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>]For the last few days my W thought i had a girlfriend. I informed her i was going out of town on Sunday. When she asked if i had a girlfriend, i said yeppers! Referring to her, only she didn't know this. She became guite nice.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is not a game ... you could say "Why do you want to know ?". With this on her mind do you think she would want to work on M ?.

Anyway finish your legal issues out of the way first then work on M. You might be ripe for plan B but I wouldn't mixed it with legal issues.

Until you plan B you will still in emotional roller coaster.

-rh-

Dear Steven,

Posted by redhat:
We are here to give a red flag....it's up to you to take it.
I agree. Steven, please don't take this as unsympathetic, because it's not. You do need
discernment in your situation w/ wife also.

What are you going to do with the children if you end up in jail for the PPO, when and if
your wife gets the slightest angry or revengeful?? Think about this. Until matters
are taken care of with the PPO, it's probably
not a good idea to contact her unless in regards to children. O.k. how many times have you heard this???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

We care for you with the care of the Lord.

Sent with Love, Ladysheep

YES!! I do agree! and yes i 'am, and have been concerned.
When i began posting here, was because i was looking for answers, ideas, suggestions as well hoping to learn,,, something.

ladysheep, i have heard this A LOT!!! You are correct.
Often times, especially when shes not here, or when we're not on the phone, i can accept the red flags,, once we start talking, i'm done!! I see no more red flags, its actually difficult.
I rememebr in March, being served this PPO, i was floored, i was so danged CRUSHED!!! Within maybe two weeks, i started thinking maybe this thing was a blessing in disguise. I no longer was able to talk, or listen to her. Listen, she would agree with things, like a date, MC, whatever else there was. Never to follow thru. The next day she would cal me up, and yell, scream, and accuse. There was accusations, that i will not share, was my roller coaster, hell, i'll admit it, i was messed up! My counselor said be prepared to go to jail,, spoke of similar situations in his 28 years. Often times i look back, and feel somewhat embarresed. Also wondering how in the heck was i able to survive. I also started asking or saying to myself, what if life was to be no more,,, this had to be so much easier.
Now, shes back to talking to me,,,am i falling into this venusian trap? Some times i wonder, other times i think not. Yes, often i wonder, where are the rails? (going off the rails on a crazy train)

I did upset my W last night while she was here. She came inside, noticed the PPO protest papers. Came out accusing me of being a liar, a manipalating(sp) liar. We argued back and forth for maybe 5 minutes.

We were on the phone again last night, and again today. Today she called here, called for our daughter, but continued to talk to me. 45 minutes later she called back, this time spoke with daughter, and then asked for me.
She gives me mixed messages often. I suppose maybe im wrong for acting on them as well as allowing myself to. Plus maybe a lot more!!!

I do appreaciate your advice, i truly do. I realize my actions state other wise,,
When i have two little children who often cry, and even cry for their mommy, as well as cry saying *hers mean, hers ugly* and realizing there is help available,,,
I don't mean to justify my ignorance,, i just want to do what i thought, and felt was the right thing to do. I 'm not referring to breaking the law! Yes, maybe its me that needs the majority of help. I know in this situation, its just difficult to turn my back on her, she is family, and mother of two innocent children.
In the last two days alone, we have spoken more, then the last three months. Maybe i'am wrong for thinking that maybe, just maybe,,, i do know that going to jail is not worth it.

How about i promise, that i will no longer make the initial contact to and or with her?
She seems to think that if and when she either calls me, or emails me about the childreen, that its now ok to talk, and talk about anything. When this happens, i easily forget about any PPO. I open up to her.

I sincerely do appreciate you advice, and concern
thanks
steven

You know what i've decided to do? My W wants me to send her an proposal,therefore, i will inform her that i will. After and only after she ahress to drop the PPO. I know this is an ultimatum,,,

<small>[ August 25, 2003, 09:50 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

hey,,

I'am going to be giving this to my wife. I want to be prepared for any possible accusations.
This letter is what i'm giving to her.

This is in regards to your requested proposal,
Due to the possible consquencdes regarding a Personal Protection Order, what are the chances of this being filed into our County Clerks office, to have this terminated? I realize the chances i take just from allowing myself to give this letter into your hands. I feel maybe this should be an requirement, due to the fact of things i already have been accused.

If and when this PPO can and or will be terminated. When i feel safe and secure with any further attempts to sending you via email your requested proposal. regards to marriage, and or joint custody. When this PPO is terminated, i will continue forward working towards a possible solution, to any and or all present issues. Regarding your requested proposal. This is not an ultimatum in any way.

What do you think??? Any suggestions,, or should i just follow thru with the courts?
I truly do not think she will ever pursue any issues with this PPO, yes i have broke it several times, herself as well. But, its against me.

Thank you again

<small>[ August 25, 2003, 09:14 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Hey redhat, and lasysheep, and who ever else that nay read this, guess what?

I'AM DONE !!!!!! As of maybe four hours ago, yes, I'AM DONE!!! I am ready for divorce!!!

STEPHAN

What happened? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

What happened,,, i allow myself to listen to her with my heart. All the talk about getting back together, yet she will not act on anything. Only acts on finding another excuse. Her new job, she signed a six month agreement with. Yes, that has more importance than any of her children.

Her mom does not want to live alone now

My 12 year old son is still here,
I'am controlling, a liar, an manipulator,,,

I found out we will be divorced some time in Sept.
W wants me to send her an agreement so she can have joint custody, i informed her i'd send it to her attorney, she said thats fine, but we need to come to an agreement first.
W said before she comes back, i have to *give a $hit, and i need to learn how to compromise. Again, she wants me to compromise with her for joint custody.

I spoke with an attorney today, was informed that I do NOT have to agree to any joint custody, FOC granted me custody for a reason!!!
I have always *trusted* my W, now its as though i need to act as though i'm a switch, and to learn how to flick it quick.

Whats happened,,, TOO much,,,

my roller coaster ride has begun,,,again!!!

Stephan. I see you going through much the same stuff as I have. I had no PPO or children at home to deal with, but my wife was doing the same things to me. As nutty as it seems, whatever I wanted her to do or agree on, she went the other way, almost guranteed. You may need to reverse phsyvology on her. Whe she wants to talk and maybe work things out, be unable to or unavailabe and as for working things out, act like you are not sure any more. I will tell you the best thing I did was 5 or 6 weeks ago, I cried out to God to help me and turned it over to him. I am working with the lord on me and asking him to work on my wife. It is amazing how much better I feel about myself and if the worst happens, I should be ready to accept it. I hope you haven't just thrown in the towel, as they say, I know I have felt that way many times and prayed for guidance and reassurance and usuall would change my thoughts later. Praying for you my man, hang in there.

Hi Steven <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />



I found out we will be divorced sometime in Sept.
And who says? Her? Maybe she is just saying that so you will hurry and give her joint custody now. The lawyer is right. And the divorce issue is separate from custody. Don't sign any custody papers at this time, of course if you don't want too, and you think you shouldn't. And also what are the grounds for divorce. Have you seen any paperwork on that?
If not don't believe it.

Ladysheep

Stephan,

The hardest part of being BS is not only we are hurt by their A but also by their fog. She will do anything to put you down ... it is in WS's scripts. This way they could justify their actions, please don't take it personally. Please don't talk to her and don't engage her. Hide behind PPO for now.

I said before you are in the right track of puting your focus on fighting your legal right first before your M. Win this legal right then plan B ... actually you could use this PPO as your unofficial plan B. You hand her the plan B letter after the PPO is dropped.

Yes you are still in coaster until you have NC in Plan B.

-rh-

Divorced in Sept. I was informed by a lawyer yesterday. This lawyer explained the procedure to me.
Yes i know divorce and custody are two seperate issues, but they go hand in hand. Why would custody be such a concern, if there was a chance of *fixing* the marriage? W informs me i'm controlling. Adds that in i can show i'm not controlling, is agree to joint custody. *IF* there is to be ANY chance of our marriage, again, why and or how could, agreeing to joint custody, have anything to do with this. Why would having *joint* custody be so important.Knowing that if and when a husband/father, and a wife/mother are together, thats just it, they are together. We don't look at each other, and ask day to day, who's turn is it for custody. Knowing that there is a mom, and a dad. I'm not sure if i'm really getting it out, the way i'm attempting to. What difference does this make? Its as if its an ultimatum!? Its as if *children* were, and are a pawn! Am i making sense?

Grounds for divorce? Yes i've seen paper work. The way things are now days, all one needs to do is say, and to file, i want a divorce, regardless! In the papers, W has said i have berated, abused,,,, to the extent that there has been a breakdown of the marriage, beyond any chance of, something.) i think the word nay have been bereavement, staying married anyway) I was under the impression that WE would go before the judge, and what ever?
I was informed (from lawyer) that W will go before the judge, it will take maybe five minutes, and it will be done, divorced! I'll have time to file any motions,,, this was bothersome, because listening to my W, i really was trusting her, and HOPING!!! W made it clear recently she only contacs me regards to children.For the most part this is true. But, like when she calls, we'll talk for quite some time, or when she's here, we'll talk. Alot about us, as if we're still in the conflict area. Yet, at the same time, there is so much that says she's withdrawn.
Yes, i'am ever so confused! and at times, confused some more.

Custody,, i was informed FOC gave me custody for a reason, that i don't have to agree to any joint custody. I explained to this lawyer what has happened, and such, she didn'y undersyand the logic, or tactics. Yesterday, not sure who or when at this time, cuz i was also with a counselor. Anyhow, it was stated that they wonder if maybe the lawyer told her to give it up,,,
Wondered if her lawyer also said go back home. I do know at first, her lawyer kept telling her this.

When i do act as though i have given up, act as though i don't want to talk to her,,,, shes notices, and when she asks me, what has she done, or whats the matter, usually you are so talky talky to me,,,
Well. thats all it takes, and i so easily open right back up! And give her my all.
A few weeks ago W was telling me when she was the happiest, she missed this and that,, a few days ago, we were talking about the colors i have always liked on her,, these, for what ever reason, a part of me embraced her thoughts, and such. Then maybe later, something will be said, and it will have like a crashing effect,,,
shortly after we spoke about colors,, somehow we were on the subject of how and why she *felt* i was controlling, and that i didn't want her to have any money, and or vehicle, especially while i was at work. So i pointed out the opposite, with times, with facts though. Pointed out how she would always go here and there,,,reminded her she usually had the card,,, (she came to the conclusion i wanted her here with no money, cuz often i'd take money from her pockets,, but i left her notes when i did) all i did was asked questions, about her day(s), making conversation. Somehow i managed to leave an impression, that does not even match my true person. I even reminded her where i'd leave my paycheck, or the cash. I opened an account,w/o her, so i could cash my check, often on payday, i was flat broke.

Sorry for so many details,, its just so confusing,, how one could leave such an extreme opposite image,,,

Hi Stephen,

How are you doing today? I was thinking about your W's reason for divorce. Many yrs ago I had two relationships as your wife is talking about.
Being stranded at home without car. I hated it.
I had my motorcycle, the last one my dad bought for me, and it was taken from me by son's dad. And cars taken from me by both dad's. Neither wanted me going any where. I was not married in those days and they were horrible dysfunctional alcoholic relationships anyway. Usually had to beg just to get diaper money. I do percieve that as abuse. I don't know what your wife means if you really did not do that to her though, and you can file motions if you believe what she is saying is untrue. But that's up to you.

Custody,,,,I was informed FOC gave me custody for a reason.....
That's true...that is why it wouldn't be a good idea to give it up so fast. You can still keep full custody while allowing visitation also. Why were you given full custody?

I just had an idea...You know if you apply for Services, and can get help with family counseling, individual counseling, mentors if needed for the children, so much. It really opens the door for so much help. I had to do it when we were going through crisis w/ daughter at the time, but you are going through crisis w/ wife and it's effecting the whole family. It really does help.

Anyway, how are you doing being the single parent of 4 at home? You must have your hands full. Keeping them on a schedule is very important. Very tiring sometimes, so take time for yourself too. o.k. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ladysheep

ladysheep,, hello
how am I? actually, the last two days has been rough again,,
right now, i'm doing better. With all the *talk* about chances/terms, as well as what she needed from me, in order to work on our marriage, i actually was excited. thank you,

and how are you?

There was a time when we were down to one vehicle, NOT because thats how i had, or wanted it. I sure did not demand that as well. When we finally got back up to two vehicles, there was a total of 7 times, the vehicle considered mine, wouldn't start. I had to take *hers.* Each and every time, she called me at work, upset, and crying. AFter the first time i asked her if maybe she could inform me of her plans, therefor i could have an idea. Also after the first time, i made it a point to leave her a note, adding also that if and when she needed*her* vehicle, call me. I was a dept. manager, so i would often take lunch early, and or late. She only would call, saying its now too late for her to get whatever done. As for money, again, i didn't have a problem with her having money. The truth is, i would have 50.00 out of my check, to maybe last the week. She had access to our account, as well as she at times had our her debit card. She used to go shopping often, when i'd get home, she'd show me what she bought.I asked if in the future, if she was going to spend like over a certain amount, if maybe we could discuss this, so i hasd an idea. My true intention, was cuz i wanted to *feel* involved, was that wrong? I'm seriously asking, was that wrong? I didn't care if she shopped, i only wanted to somehow be involved.
Occassionaly i had the card, not to keep it from her though. This is whats so damn confusing. For the life of me, i CAN NOT figure out how i managed to leave this type of an impression.

File motions,, what motions would these be?
I really think my wife is up to something, she's acting different again. She has made a few comments, yes i know maybe i'm making more into this,, i phoned her lawyer today, asking if my W was still a client. She is. I asked if there was any court dates pending,, the reply was *not at this time.* I also called the courts, they advised me as well to protest the PPO.
I know, i have heard this often,, here is why i didn't. *act as though you don't care*
Also, eventually, i opted not to, due to the fact that i now have custody,, i do not mean to sound as though i'm better, and i would never stop/prevent her from any time with our children.

My W asked me back on June 15th, if i was going to use this to try to force her back. My reply was, *i won't lie to you, there is a part of me that was sort of hoping*

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Custody,,,,I was informed FOC gave me custody for a reason.....
That's true...that is why it wouldn't be a good idea to give it up so fast.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What exactly do you mean. Don't give up, as for the divorce? Right now, this second, there is still a huge part of me, that either can't. or refuses. Yesterday, i was really down !!! It was not a good day atall. Not that i'm a baby, but yes the tears were back, again. The last two nights have been rough,,

With custody, i do know that if things were turned around, she would not agree to and or with me. I know this for a fact. The three months she had custody, she refused them to be here, while she was at work. It was more imporatnt they be at her first sons grandparents, who were nothing but strangers to my children. They never even met each other prior. You know, the emotional status of these two children,,, especially when i had to return them. My three year old, well, w/o going into it, IT WAS ROUGH!!! You know, dad has always tucked them in at night,, now, these strangers had that honors. (for those months)

FOC gave me custody for several reasons. They use that either 11 or 12 point system. I had the most points, although that does not always mean anything. I mentioned what i knew about the OP.
I think when my W stated that she would allow me custody of our Daughter, she keep our son. Well, FOC does not like seperating siblings. W was extremely upset with me. Fathers day eve, she phioned me yelling, *you promised son could go with me* To this day i co not remember making any promise like that. I also shared a few other facts, that i'll just have to keep out. And you know what, one thing i never did, was to accuse her of any dang thing. I only gave the truth, and the facts!!! I didn't even slander my wife.

YES, we have just started the family services, this week. I'm sure hoping,,,

Yes i do have my head, oh wait, i think you said hands right? yes i have my hands full, only at times. My 14 daughter, she is a real big help. Bles her heart. Besides doing all the children, shopping responsibilities, (all four help with chores, my older two often cook supper) i also have to get in 30 hours of job search weekly. Plus, stay on top of my divorce *ordeal.*

As for time for myself, this happens when i'm job searching. I truly am bored plum to death, when children are gone for the week-end!!!

Ladysheep,, thank you!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ August 28, 2003, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: Stephan ]</small>

Stephan,

I would like to say again. Get that PPO taken care of and off of your record. I don't know where you live, but where I live employers do background checks and something like a PPO on your record will lose you the job. It will also prevent you from having others. GET IT OFF for your children's sake.

I will offer you one other opinion. DO NOT GIVE UP your custody. If you do, it is likely you will lose a lot more than you realize. You can be generous with your W, soon to be ex W, about this but you keep custody. As for what your W says, realize it is justification for what she has done, nothing more.

Address the PPO and get it off. If you are violating it she can use it to get the kids and completely remove them from you. I don't even want to here "but she violated it to". It may not matter. You have not figured out yet that the courts ARE NOT FAIR. There is the law, lawyers, and fair, and they are NOT THE SAME.

Protect yourself and your children.

God Bless,

JL

Hi Stephen,

I know these have gotta be the most difficult days for you, but hang on.. I wanna tell you things will get better in the future, but I know it's hard to see that right now even though it is true.

You do have to be very careful about that PPO. As JL said, and you think your wife is
up to something, it might have to do with the PPO. So when and if you talk to her, only talk about children.

She used to go shopping often, when I'd get home she'd show me what she bought. I asked if in the future, if she was going to spend like over a certain amount, if maybe we could discuss this so I had no idea. I'm seriously asking, was that wrong? For the life of me I cannot figure out how I managed to leave this type of impression.
Stephen, there is nothing wrong with this. You were looking out for the finances. Things like this should be discussed with both, especially if one has overspending habits. I think she didn't like the fact that you wanted to set
boundaries on the spending, and she took it as controlling, but it really isn't controlling.

File motions,,,what would that be?
Well I thought that if you don't agree with her
reasons for divorce, can't you file a motion w/ the court. If she is accusing you of being abusive, and controlling, etc...

I phone her lawyer today, asking if my W was still a client. She is. I asked if there was any court dates pending,,the reply was *not at this time.*
Isn't this strange because you were told a couple of days ago that the divorce would be
done in Sept.? How could that be known if a court date isn't pending at this time?

OOOOPS!!! I clicked on reply too soon. I'm not done yet!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

What exactly do you mean. Don't give up, as for the divorce?
No, what I meant is don't give up the full custody that you have. As the lawyer said, there
is a reason FOC gave you full custody. It's probably not a good idea to let her have joint custody at this time.

As for time for myself, this happens when I'm job searching. I truly am bored plum to death, when children are gone for the weekend.
Yeah, I know what you mean. When the kids are away, we don't know what to do with ourselves.
I'm the same way. So used to being with them 24/7, and everything gets centered around them.
But you are important too. Is there a hobby you have? Is there "adult friends" or family you can visit on weekends? Find something to work on....something??? Just so you don't go bored crazy.

It good you have all those little helpers doing thier share!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ladysheep

Ladysheep,
i seen my wife today,, this is SO difficult!!! I realized i was excited to see her,,, its as if ALL i can do is still manage to upset her.
Anyhow, for about 95% of the time, i refused to look at her. My daughter aske dif her dog could come with her, W said no. Daughter started crying and yelling at her mom. I don't mean YELLING, her voice was raised. We adopted this border collie for our daughter in mind. When she was hospitalized, before her brain tumor surghery, she wanted a dog. So i said you come home, we will get you that dog. It had to be black and white.

This morning W im'ed me, as usual i think imust have upset her again,,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

W says: just sent you an email. forgot I could use this, duh lol
are you bringing the kids over,

Steve says; check you out, yeppers, probably a little after, did you have a blonde moment there chic?
(no response)

stever says; ok,,
stever i was booted, did you get my response? :-)

W says: Steve you said a little after, a little after what?

Stever says: I'm sorry, a little after 12 ;-)

W says: ok i should be here. thanks
how long do you think they'll be here?

Steve says: how long do you want them there?

W says: I'm just asking so I know what we hace time for. if we have time to go away. Could you answer the question please. dang

stever says: my intentions were to be considerate :-) I'am so sorry I will be busy until at least 4p.m.. Is it ok to ask you now how long would you like them for? :-)

W says: I have to leave for work by 4:30

Stever says: Ok, how long would you like them for?:-)

W says: disconnect and i'll call you in two minutes,. Can you handle that?

Stever says; Ok,,

</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I have this in here for two reasons,, one cuz my children keep using my notebooks,, so i have this in here for my documents,, I had the feeling, as usual i upset her, even thru internet im'ing.
I'm so lucky. Whiule on the phone she asked me all the questins as to where i was going, and such.

Why in the he!! do i continue to trust her???
May i ask you this? Is it possible to maintain cxalm, cool, collect and rationale at all times?
I ask this cuz its almost as if thats whats expected from me, where my W is concerned.

After reading Just learnings post,, I have no intentions of giving up on custody. This may be wrong of me, but ocassionaly its as if yes, she needs to feel some of this crap she has placed out. When she left, she said *Steve, don't you want me to be happy?*
All i was referring to was giving up on this wonderful wif eof mine. I swear i'm going to go crazy!!!

I gave her an angry outburst again today, as she turned and walked away, i rudely said *Good-bye!*

My hobbies, i used to bowl, until my wife asked me to stop. I used to hunt, until,,,
I truly was ok with all of this, because of my commitment to my family.

I know people in my community, but i have no real friends, only people i have associated with.
Often i talk to my sister. My mom, she can't handle what has been going on!!!

Every once in awhile i'll get to talking to the neighbors,, i realize i talk their heads off. All day i'm with my children,(for the most part) then when i talk to an adult, i think i must feel as if i have to make up,, lol
I have heard moms say to me, now you know how us moms feel. I have always been home every night with the children, even before my W left. But i was able to talk to an adult then,,
I have a Sept 12 court date to protest the PPO. I called her lawyers office yesterday, asked if W was still a client,*yes* so i asked if they would accept services,, so i can get my wife served her copy. They were suppose to call me back, but they never did. So apparently this must mean they won't.
i have a sad daughter right now,,,saying *i miss mom*
ttyl

Hi Stephen,

My daughter asked if her dog could come w/ her, W said no. Daughter started crying & yelling at her mom. I don't mean yelling, her voice was raised.
Awe poor thing!! She has a lot of resentment and anger toward mom. Can't really blame her for being angry, and children just don't know how to express it, it's just the way it comes out. That's why counseling will be good for her.

Notice after the IM, W called you asking questions as to where you were going. It's really up to you to answer her about that or not.
Or you could request questions about children only, not about you. Do you ask her questions about her whereabouts after work? Do you think it's her business where you are 24/7? Even if it's all innocent places? Just something to think about.

Why in the he!! do I trust her??? May I ask you this? Is it possible to maintain calm, cool, collect and rational at all times?
I don't know why you trust her Stephen. And when she has to pick up children, it is very difficult when face to face to remain calm, cool, and collected I know. Hopefully in time it will be easier.

when she left, she said "Steve don't you want me to be happy?"
How selfish, at the expense of her family, and causing her family so much pain in order for herself to be happy!! I don't see how she could possibly be happy doing what she has done!!! The other thing that angers me is how she treated your son, and wanted him out of there. Now that's terrible. She just wanted to throw away your son. Children are not to be thrown out like garbage because she doesn't want them anymore.

I gave her an angry outburst again today as she turned and walked away rudely said "Good-bye"
Really don't blame you there. Look how she treated your daughter. What harm would it have been to bring the dog???
I don't know what to tell you, because you have to see her, because of the children, and I know its so difficult not to be angry.

Called her lawyers office...they were supposed to call me back, but they never did.
Is there another way to get the PPO papers served to her?

Ladysheep