My hubby is having an affair.
I know for sure now

I did confronted him in the beging before i had more proff like i have now. He said it was just talking nothing sexual they just talked about their unhappy marriages meet only twice i now know that is a lie(just to tell you i did not know our marriage of 12 yrs was bad)
I also called and told her not to contact my H again or i would tell i even asked her to tell me if i was wrong about what was going on and she said nothing but scream and yell after first denying she knew him.

My h says he wants a divorce hates me etc will not do counseling.The OW did email him and told him i was stalking her by calling her and hanging up)sorry but it was not me i have not seen or talked to her since the day i found out.

My question is should i tell her husband.I was told by mine that her H is abusive etc.(that is why my H was helping her with chatting all the time)
I want to tell and then again i don't want any violence.My thoughts are the abuse is a lie since the two of them talked all the time (over 80 times a month according to cell phone bills) and were seeing each other.(could tell by the cell phone bills he was not where he said he was and was in her area. She lives an hr away)
Both H are military and i don't want to ruin any carriers espcially my h cause i have no support if we divorce.

Please help

Thanks

If your husband is having an affair and he is in the military and the OW's husband is military, I'd suggest talking to your husband's First Sergeant. Your husband may get into some trouble, but he probably won't lose his job over it. But, the First Sergeant and Commander can order your husband to not see this other person and if he continues, life will get ugly for him in the military. Your husband is definately showing signs of being in an affair. I know you need answers and I'm sure others will post. I'm fairly new to this. My WW left me about 2 months ago. She said some of the same things your husband is saying to you. I would suggest getting the book, Surviving An Affair by Harley. It will shed some light on how affairs work. I know you are going through a rough time right now, lots of emotions, just know there are a lot of people here that are with you. Keep posting and reading, you'll get through this...