my husband had been playing on on-line game for about the last 6 months. We were getting calls at home from a mother and daughter who played the game. Lots of Instant msg, and e-mails, then the last 4 months of long distance phone bills kept coming up missing. My husband is a truck driver and ended up meeting the girl from NY for a whole weekend, then 3 weeks later went to meet her mother and her in Mi, we live in OH. I found on the computer e-mails and msg pages, with the I miss you's and love you's, etc. We split up for about a month. my husband is back, and is professing his love for me, but is still on this game, and this woman is still e-mailing and IM's him everyday. he is cutting his time down on the computer, but I am still insecure. he swears they never slept together but admits, they had strong feeling for each other, but they are both in marriages and want to stay there. He said he will still be in contact with her, but they are just good friends, and she is aware we have worked things out. I am still unsure and not sure if I can trust him. When I'm sitting at the computer with him, and she IM's him, he always responds by letting her know I'm down there with him. I think that is just so that she doesn't say anything out of place. Is it right for me to demand he stop talking to her altogher to keep our marriage? I agreed I could handle them being friends on-line, but I assumed it would be occasional, not all day, every day...I feel so confused and want to believe him, I just don't know if I can give him the time he needs to break all ties with her...It hurts and I get so suspecious when they talk. I have to bite my tongue all the time, not to make smart A@& comments. Please advise, I feel so lost...How do you ever trust again????

Your H is having an affair, an emotional affair. He may not see it as friendship but it is an affair if he can't speak or type openly in front of you to her without him alerting her of your presence.
He can not work on your marriage if he is still in contact (writing, emailing, talking, ym;ing the OW everday). It doesn't work like that, he is giving you 70% and giving her 30%. He has to be in the marriage 100%.
No boundaries were set when you decided to let him come home.

<small>[ September 15, 2003, 03:47 PM: Message edited by: trying2_4give ]</small>

We really haven't talked about it. I was so stunned when he came back, for the first 3 weeks, he was just staying there until he could move into his apt. Then Tues he told me he changed his mind, and didn't want to leave, he realized how much he loved me. Saturday night, he told me he was "IN LOVE W/ME" and put my wedding ring back on. We discussed him still being friends w/her when he was moving out, and that I would just have to deal w/it...She was important to him