Hi guys,
Just started Plan b on Sunday. I'm trying to do this WITH OUT ANY contact. But had one contact where WH asked if he could pick up our son. Other than than, no other contact.

I'm acctualy doing ok. But the weird thing is that I'm kind of relieved that I don't have to talk to him anymore. Not having to worry about, what he's thinking, what he's doing, where he's at, who he's with and etc. But then I also wonder, WHY ISN'T HE CALLING ME? Doesn't he care? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I know this sounds strange but, this is how I feel. It hasn't been a week yet and I've become really emotional. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I think I did a really good plan A, he talked about wanting to reconcile but did nothing about it. And I believe that he does want to but doesn't know how. And now that I've asked him that I don't want to have any contact with him, I'm affraid that maybe my plan b will push him away. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

In another thread on GQII, I posted that he moved out of the OW's house but, he's moved back in with her. I don't know if this is a bad thing or a good thing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Really confused and hurt. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

STBXW

Always enjoy reading your posts and updates because your sitch is very similar to mine.

I decided on a plan of no contact three weeks ago after H's wavering between I and OW for six months and also because I felt I'd finally reached the point where I was ready to let go of him and move on with my own life and I didn't need nor want him in the picture. I was very serious in my intentions!! I won't refer to this plan of no contact as being PlanB though because it wasn't. I didn't give him a PlanB letter you see.

Anyway a week later I had him on the phone and I hung up. He called again an hour later, began saying he had feelings for me......yeah right, again I replaced the reciever, told him not to call back and that I meant what I had said in regard to not seeing him again. Then he called a few days later, he'd also called my niece looking for me when I hadn't answered. He wasn't about to give up calling me and just let me go. H'ed have kept on and on and on calling, he would not have given up. Your H probably won't either when it dawns on him that you are being serious.

I would have kept up this plan of no contact, but with two sudden deaths happening in my family and all in the spate of the past fortnight, when H called again I needed someone to talk too and so this week I've had four long telephone conversations with him as he has rang almost every day to see how I am, etc. We had another R talk tonight, but won't go into that because this is your thread. He did say that he doesnt want to let me or our daughter go, he wants to be there for us, anything we need or want he will provide. He hasn't quite grasped that he needs to choose one life or the other. Still wants the best of both worlds you see, his family and OW.

I think that what you are doing is good and I would stick to my guns, don't back down. If he truly cares for you, PlanB will not push him away, it will draw him to you if he really is in fear of losing you.

Thanks Eden,
I'm know that Plan b is the right thing for me. I'm tired of the rollercoaster. It's just scarry.

This time I am sticking to my guns. When he calls to my mom's (I live with my parents) to say that he's coming over to drop off our son, I won't answer. I turn my cell phone off when I'm home and at night. He use to call me often at night. Just to talk or to talk about us. Well know he can't.

This time I mean business. I really don't want to talk to him. Even though I do miss him, and when I was in plan A we became friends again. And he confided in me a lot about things. But for me, it's better this way.

Are you going back to NO CONTACT with your WH?

Are you going back to NO CONTACT with your WH?

Well I've attempted to go through with this no contact thing quite a few times during the past few months without any success. After a week or so of having no contact, H would call on the phone in tears, sweet talk me, promise me this and that and I would always give in, my resolve would weaken and things went back basically to the way that H liked things to be. I still had lots of feelings left for him back then you see, they have since dwindled, not completely, but they have definitely waned. I don't want to lose all love for him, hence the no contact, it preserves what love I have left.

However, these days I am a lot stronger than I was way back then in the early months. I could honestly say goodbye to him now and never look back I don't think! I know I will be OK, my life will go on. He has been gone now for a total of seven months, it's become pretty obvious to me that he is exactly where he wants to be, with OW.

These past few months I have grown tired of having my hopes dashed repeatedly also. I think that this has also contributed to the way I am left feeling now. H would call saying he wanted to come home, he wasn't happy with OW, he still loved me, loved me more than he loved her, how he was going to leave her but he had things to sort out at that end first ~ yet no actions on his part were ever forthcoming. He basically wants OW, he also wants his family. He doesn't want to have to choose between us, doesn't want to lose either one, he wants both ~ sounds a lot like your H. I guess allowing them to cake eat is a good idea perhaps for a few months, but if we allow them to cake eat forever they will go on cake eating, they will never make a final choice for they don't have to make a choice when they can have both.

I had told him three weeks back, that as long as OW remained in his life then he was no part of my life. Try as hard as I had done, I could not be his friend anymore and wanted him gone from my life. The calls have not ceased since I said that, he is quite persistent.

Anyway, back onto the subject, do I intend going back to *no contact*, yes I do. I still plan on being unavailable to him when he calls to pick up our daughter, but also to not take any phone calls in the way I have of recent. I just needed someone to talk to and H was there for me and offered support.

It's coming up for three weeks since I last saw him in person though, this is the longest time period since he left that we have not see each other.

He will be calling tomorrow with child support, I plan on being unavailable and asking him if he will just drop it through the mailbox.