Actually, I think he will see OW today, but he is desparately needing me to stay emotionally close to him. I LB'd last night. We've been communicating alot this week and we are even talking about the A. But it takes so much strength from me -- half the time I wonder if I can do it.

Well, last night was our MC appointment. We went to dinner and we talked about his struggle. I was very supportive. Our appointment went very well, although WS could not guarantee NC. Then we came home and talked more. I know this is one of his highest ENs, but he made a small comment and I lost it. I told him that it still hurts and it will hurt for a long time. He completely shut down.

I knew in my heart that he was looking for a reason to not see OW, but that just made it harder for me. I *need* him to choose to stay with me just once. I've been living with this for two months and now I want something from him.

This morning I was able to leave him a note saying that I appreciated him answering my questions (not about A, but about his past) and tell him that I love him. I did send him a text msg saying that I was sorry for breaking his trust. He called to tell me that he was the one that was wrong. He said he will probably see OW tonight, but that he would call me this afternoon.

What can I say when he calls? What should I say? I feel I've been fighting for this M for two months, is this when I need to really do battle? It just hurts so much.

IBC I'm not as knowledgable as others here I feel like I'm just a rookie, but I feel your pain and all I can say is if you can hold out, do, that what people tell you in that it takes along time is true. My WS told me 16 months ago he was not happy etc etc, You have to wait until their ready sometimes, although you can do what you need to do for yourself, i.e. making you the best you and trying to fulfill his emotional needs. my WH just recently was willing to read HN/HN and then just this week SAA. He's finally coming out of the fog and admits he is. I wish I could say its quick and easy its not and nothing is ever for certain lol. But stick it out it will be worth it like everyone says either you'll fix it or you'll know its unfixable.
Take care

me 39
ws 44
2 boys 4 and 11
OW was my best friend