my h walks around like he has his head up his a-- my son asked me why is dad walking funny? he walks like he is a big stud now. he wears muscle man shirts. i guess he feels good because he has a 38 yr.old o/w and he is 52. he comes to pick our 13 yr.old son up about once a week. i don't allow him in the house. he pulls in the driveway and my son goes out. my son broke his ankle in football. my h new we were up the hospital but didn't atempt to come up or call my son till much later that night.i was glad, but my son was a little hurt. i say nothing negative to him about his dad. yesterday my h. called my son around 3:30 to tell him he was on his way to the dr. because he was very sick and had alot of pain, something to do with his kidney's or kidney stones. this morning he called him to say it is not stones but the dr. put him on medicine. i have an evil mind! could it be some horrible disease he has caught from o/w. why tell your 13 yr. old son! is that so he will tell me. i have had absolutly n/c with my h. for 2-weeks now he tries but i won't bite. he has pulled that i have to talk to your mother tell her it is very important. it is usually no big deal my son could have given me a message. if h. ends up in the hospital i will not go see him. i still love my h. very, very, much but the wounds are very deep. i feel if he doesn't come out of the fog soon it will be too late on my end.i wonder how long it usually takes or are they all really different. i wish everyone much strength. love,de

Who is he? He walks, talks, looks, smells like your H but is he?

I remember telling my WS one night in his angry tirades. I just flopped down and cried. Hard to hear him yelling when I am crying. Then in a soft voice, I asked him to do me a favor. I said if I could get anyone else to do so I would since I know how much he hates doing things for me but no one else can...... I let it drift a bit and then he asked, what do you want?

I pulled my self up and walked close to him and said very softly.....'please go and take a message to my husband, you know where he is, I don't. Tell him I love him and would like to see him one more time. I want to give him one last hug and kiss. Can you tell him for me?'

At this point I was on the verge of tears and so was he. I kept the tone low so he had to strain to hear me.....all that effort was important. Then he replied he understood and would like to find that man himself. He looked very sad. I didn't flinch, I told him just give him the message, I am sure that man will want to visit his family even if it is for the last time.

No mention of D, just 1 last visit. It was heart wrenching. Now that I think back it was worthy of an oscar. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Bottom line is that is exactly how I felt. I told the WS I did not know what character he was. I was offended and confused since he fooled me into thinking he was my H.

Just my story. Hope it helps.

take care,
L.

I agree.

I don't recognize my WW. This is a woman who had no respect for people who had affairs. In fact her last long term relationship before me ended when her boyfriend cheated on her.

Yet today she's still maintaining a relationship with the OM who by virtue of the affiar is the type of person my WW use to have no respect for. And because of the continued affair she is discarding/avoiding virtualy every meaningfull relationship with friends and family to continue her affair.