So here is a question that I'm hoping some of you have had experience with and maybe some advice.

Me & W separate, the OM is a sales rep who lives in another city and spends around 10 days per month where we live. W plan is to move out, get a house and share care of our 5 year old daughter. For financial reasons she needs to get a boarder to help pay for the house. Her idea is to get OM's company to pay for a room, so effectively he stays there for these 10 days instead of a hotel. OM is all for this (of course...)

So here's the thing - should I push to have my daughter with me those 10 days to avoid any problems in her understanding of what's going on (it'll be enough of a shock that mum & dad don't live together anymore) or should I let things ride and see how OM reacts to this new situation.

This message sounds void of emotion I know but I'm trying to focus on the facts of the situation.......

Do what you can to keep your 5 year old daughter with you when the OM is staying at your W's house. She needs to be protected from too much adult input of the wrong kind.

It's devastating to her to see mom and dad living in different houses. It would be really awful to see mom playing house with a man who isn't her dad. By playing house i mean doing the domestic stuff, laundry, watching TV, going out together.

However playing house with a man other than your daughter's real Dad (you) means there is a highly charged sexual atmosphere between the two of the adults and even if they think they are being really discrete the child will be picking it up on her antennae.

This is not good for children. It sexualizes them too early. Your 5 year old should not be at all aware of her parents' sexual lives with others who are not her parents.

Is that too convoluted?

Don't let her stay there if you can help it at all. The affair will die a natural death, but your daughter should not be part of its cause. Keep her safe in her home with you.

So she needs a boarder huh? So you move out and he moves in???? And you agreed to this plan??? I don't know what to say? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> And that's unusual.

No - she moves out, I stay.

Once she's in her new place by herself how can I control what she does or who she sees? I think that once she has less time with our daughter the fog will start to clear.....