My H & I have been seperated for almost 1yr. He lives with ow. I do tell H that I love him. I get no response and I dont push. 1999 he probable told me he loved me a total of 4 maybe 5 times and once he said I can tell you anything you want to hear. The last couple of days he has told me that he loved me only after I have told him 4 times. The 1st & 2nd times he spoke I love you, he had a half smile laugh like it could be a joke or I'm telling you what you want to hear or maybe I'm scared but today he told me twice he loved me again only after I told him and these times it was like calm, sad no laughing or joking. I did asked him if he would like to go out for dinner his response if I'm their in 15 minutes I will. Well no show and my 1st new years alone in 24yrs. Is he trying to tell me he really does love me or just telling me what I want to hear. God is probably getting tired of carrying me so much this past year, without him I know I wouldn't have made it.

My ex-wife tells me she loves me sometimes too. What I think is wrong in my case is she can't decide between me and OM. She says she loves me as a friend, but isn't in love with me. Ever heard that before? It sounds to me like he may still care about you since he is actually talking to you. I am in Plan A and I am actually seeing results that I would not have thought possible. You made it through the New Year, that is a great accomplishment. I made it through mine also. It can be done.

The "I love you" thing really throws me. The thing with My H is that I rarely ever hear it usually only after sex and when I cry. So last night he asked if he could go get a friend to come spend New Years with us. (I am in plan A and moving into plan B after last night) Anyway before he left he told me he loved me TWICE. (I had been crying) Then he never came home. He left at 7 last night and it is noon now. I am very worried about him. I have no clue where he is...but the longer he is gone the more I beleive in my heart he is with OW...<BR>So how do you ever know when to believe it or not????<P>------------------<BR>Jaded Heart<BR>____________<P> <A HREF="http://journeys.webprovider.com" TARGET=_blank>http://reflect.to/journeys</A> <P> <BR>

This I Love You thing seems to come up alot in one way or another on this forum.<P>I guess we all want the affirmation that those "three little words" bring.<P>Sad to say that they can be just that,WORDS! <P>Then you get into all of the little sayings:<BR>...actions speak louder then words<BR>......talk is cheap<BR>...........etc. etc. etc. <P>Truly the only way to really ever know what a person feels for us is to allow them to be totally honest and their behavior will tell us the whole story. (eventually)<P>Sometimes people love themselves more then they can ever love another. Often the broken lives displayed on this forum indicate just that.<P>I believe the only true measure of love is from the scripture and that kind of love is supernatural. <P>Maybe we can break the cycle of selfish love if only on a small scale by showing others the kind of love that we ourselves desire.<P>My H told the OW for over 10 years that he loved her. She believed it and it was a lie!<P>My H told me he loved me and yet his behavior spoke only of a selfish love. <P>So we are back to me. And I chose to love him in spite of his behavior. <P>The words I LOVE YOU, do we really need for them to be the beginning and end all of our hope that our spouse cares?