I've posted this before and got not responses. I really need some help here. So to start with...here's my story:

My H and I have been separated six and half months. 1. I found out definitively about his A about a month after he moved out. I am and have been using Plan A since then, with occasional LB to screw things up. Nonetheless, it seems to be working. Despite plan "A" appearing to work in bringing us closer together as people, H is still seeing OW. Even so, we are also currently seeing a MC.

I have considered plan "B" multiple times and have some basic glitches. First and foremost, I'm simply not ready to say no contact whatsoever and then follow through on that promise. Second, I know of no one that could be used as an intermediary as far as child contact. And lastly, three of the EN that I am currently meeting and that would be notably missing because he doesn't get from OW, could and would be picked up by other third parties. Even if it denying him those things might save his marriage, those people would do it, our marriage isn't important to them. The rest of his EN could be met by the OW and he'd still be living in lala land so far as the reality of their relationship.

As I understand Plan B, it's supposed to show WS what he's missing without BS in his/her life by forcing the blinders off WS' eyes. Or in other words, show WS that his relationship w/OW is not what he thinks and his marriage is worth another chance.

Here's the actual dillema:

Can plan B work when the situation is aggravated by more than just the OW.

<small>[ November 11, 2003, 01:28 PM: Message edited by: TooTired4Words ]</small>

Because I am new here & going through this for only a short amount of time, I don't really feel "qualified" to give advice, but since no one else has come forward on your 2nd request, I thought I would just make one point...

I may be wrong, but I thought the idea behind Plan A was that the A was to END totally. If it doesn't end, you move to Plan B, right?

So, I'm just saying that it sounds like to me that you really have no choice but to move on with Plan B, since the OW is still in the picture.

Like I said, I am so very new at this & learning as I go, but one thing I've come ot realize is that there is a very fine line between fulfilling another's EN & getting taken advantage of, it's up to you (& me, in my situation) to find that line.

Best Wishes. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Ironically, within days of posting this, H made decision to end A and plan B becomes moot for me. At least for the moment. Let's hope that it stays that way. I'm optomistic right now.

That's great news, hope he's coming around. Best of luck to you.

Don't you sometimes just wish someone would wake you up & this would all be a horrible dream??? *argh*
LOL

LoJay--

Oh yes. Now the fun part comes...you know watching him go through the withdrawals, depression, etc. for some (fill in any nasty word that seems appropriate here).

4Words

<small>[ November 11, 2003, 01:39 PM: Message edited by: TooTired4Words ]</small>

I refer to the OW in my situation as "The Whore", I am incapable of uttering her name. Is that bad? LMAO
I guess, in all honesty, I'm the one who looks stupid, I mean, he didn't pay her, but the name just "fits", you know? LOL

I dont' know, I refer to the OW as "the Slut" and I do it around him too. For whatever reason that doesn't bother him.

And I don't know about whore being inappropriate. So it's not cash. It may well cost him you (and w/o knowing you I'd say you're worth more than that) and if you have kids, he's paying for it with his relationship w/them too.

<small>[ November 11, 2003, 01:41 PM: Message edited by: TooTired4Words ]</small>