Hi everyone,

Here is an update to my post. I continued to LB and have finally just realized and stopped this. In the meantime, H came over the other night for dinner and told me that he wanted a separation. He said he read through cards, letters from me, ect. and didnt feel anything but anger.

The next day he tells me he wants a divorce, wants it over, cant stand to look at me, didnt know how hurt he really was.

To make matters 10 times worse I wanted to know if there was OW so I went to the coffee shop he was at. I walked in and he was there with this girl Sam that he always used to talk about. He said shes my friend and he didnt have feelings for her. He said he went out with those people a couple of times and he talked to her on the phone. I know he goes out with her and has told me he wants to "see what the world has to offer" and if it is with OW then so be it. I dont think he realized hes married honestly, I dont know what hes thinking. I saw him last night and he told me everytime he sees me it makes him angry b/c of the hurt I caused him. I'm afraid of Plan B. If I have no contact i feel like hell forget me and move on witht he OW. Help!

ineed- What was the hurt that you caused him? We need more information. Hugs from California.

ineedsomehelp,

Actually w/o doin Plan A you should not go into plan B you have the underhand. You should concentrate on plan A.

Eliminate LB !, for very 1xLB you need 4xLB$ to fix it.

Ammend for the fault that you made and show him you could change (plan A).

-rh-

HI - here is my original post

Hi everyone,

My husband has said he is unhappy, depressed at home, feels sick when he touches me, and doesnt know if he got married too young. This is because for 7 months I have ignored him going out with my friends and every attempt he made to spend time with me I pushed him away. I realized how much this was hurting him about a month ago but it seemed too late. He is angry and hurt and does not want to spend time with me or be around me...

He told me the other day he had to leave to clear his head for awhile and had to take care of himself before he thought about us. I begged him to stay and try to work on this but he seems to have given up hope claiming he tried for 7 months..He eventually stayed but I know he resents me and told me he can not forgive me or abandoning him for 7 months. He comes home and goes right to bed because he doesnt want to be there. He tries to avoid me at every cost. It seems to me that he is scared of being hurt again, which I completely understand.

The question I have is, how can I try plan A when he wont be around me. I tried to spend time with him and do the things we liked to do before but he said I cant cram being together all the time down his throat...I'm trying to back off and give him space b/c this is what hes asked for but last night he was out until midnight came home and went right to bed and I dont understand how this is helping us at all...I'm terrified that theres another girl...The only sign of hope was when I was watching our wedding video the other day he came in and sat down and cried but he would not sit near me...any suggestions anyone has would be greatly appreciated..

I read this but you havent' tell us anything new. Did u have A on your own on those 7 months rejection ?. Why U ignored him ? How was your M before 7 months rejection according to him ?.

What you have in hand is a giver snapped. You have to plan A ... even he has A or you have to be a doormat. It will take times for him to recognize that he still could have better M with you.

If you still want your M ... you have to avoid LB, concentrate on plan A and suck it up ... you better find a lawyer than plan B him, it is futile.

-h-

Hi Red -

I appologize, here is my other post. I did not have an A.

About 3 months into our marriage I found a sex ad that he had posted online. I called him and asked him to come home from work. He knew immediately what it was about. Begged me to forgive him. I went from crying, to smashing things, to crying again. He told me he has to build a profile in order to look at pictures. Of course I know this is incorrect because of the explicit nature of the words he typed. He just didnt "fill" in the spaces. He said he would do anything, even counseling. We never got around to counseling. In fact, the incident was never mentioned after that horrible day, which is why I believe I went out with friends to block it out. which is also why i believe I went online to talk to people about things. It wasnt until about a month ago while in florida by the pool that I realized that I forgave him and I had to forgive to move on. I realized he had a reason why he did what he did. Our sex life was almost non-existent and this is because I have kept a secret my entire life. I was molested as a child. Noone knows this and I just revealed this to him the other night. He was very offended I kept this from him, however, he doesnt realize I was in denial. A couple of months ago I let go of this pain also and gave myself completely to my husband, this time without feeling any hurt of memories. At was at this time that he didnt want to touch me. This was extremely difficult for me because it took me so long to make it to this point and now I was being rejected. I hope this helps to give more insight to my problems

ineedsomehelp

I will post to you on the other thread since you should be in plan A ...

-rh-