Many thanks for the replies - particularly Believer - the "Hugs from California reaaly touched my heart. I probably couldn't be further away from California, yet I really felt your warmth. Unfortunately it set me off in tears again, but a pleasant change from crying about the other stuff. I have taken everybodies' suggestions on board, but have decided that I have the strength to continue with Plan A. I am beginning to impress myself with my inner strength - I never knew I could do this, just sometimes the strength is so inner it's hard to dig up. I still suffer unexpected waves of grief.

As for telling everybody about the A, I haven't had to. We live in a very "small town" indeed. It is hard to maintain any sort of normality when people keep ringing up to sympathise (or find out the gory details?). I've got to say, this is the best thing for dinner invitations!

I hope I will soon be able to reciprocate all this support and kindness. Thanks guys.

Lum57 - Glad to hear you're going to try to continue Plan A. It would be good to do it another month or two. Listen to me, wish I could have followed my own advice. What helped me get over crying and obsessing the most was getting busy. I MADE myself exercise, walk, swim, remodel bathroom, organize, clean, redo yard, paint, go to women's support group, work on spiritual side, etc. Well H is still with OW, but I have sparkling clean house, beautiful yard, lost 30 lbs., and most days am fairly happy. I have also taken up going to the gun range for target practice. They have these full size figure of a man targets that you can shoot to pieces. It is extremely satisfying. When done, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted. So what I suggest to you is get busy. You will feel better and H can see that he is NOT the only thing in your world.