Many thanks for the replies - particularly Believer - the "Hugs from California reaaly touched my heart. I probably couldn't be further away from California, yet I really felt your warmth. Unfortunately it set me off in tears again, but a pleasant change from crying about the other stuff. I have taken everybodies' suggestions on board, but have decided that I have the strength to continue with Plan A. I am beginning to impress myself with my inner strength - I never knew I could do this, just sometimes the strength is so inner it's hard to dig up. I still suffer unexpected waves of grief.

As for telling everybody about the A, I haven't had to. We live in a very "small town" indeed. It is hard to maintain any sort of normality when people keep ringing up to sympathise (or find out the gory details?). I've got to say, this is the best thing for dinner invitations!

I hope I will soon be able to reciprocate all this support and kindness. Thanks guys.

Was i supposed to send this as a reply or a new topic?