How can things get worse???????? Well let me tell ya.......<P>My friend called yesterday and asked me to run some errands with her. One stop was the computer store. As we are walking in, we ran into a lady who is the widow of my H's dear friend from his motorcycle club. If you remember, we had 7 deaths in 1999, and one was this lady's H who dropped dead at age 51 (He was exactly 1 week younger than my H)sitting in their truck while she ran in Block Buster to pick up a movie.<P>I hadn't seen her in a couple months so after asking how she was, I said well, H and I are separated. She said she had heard and couldn't believe it - people in his motorcycle club think he is an idiot 'cause they all liked me so much. I said, well, you should see my replacement. She said yeah she couldn't believe he had left me for a 23 year old stripper. I said HUH??????? No, the OW is 50 year old woman that lives in FL. She said, no, he is seeing this young stripper from a strip club that the guy friend he is living with likes to go to. <P>Then, she tells me what a low down trash this guy friend is (who is also in the same motorcycle club)that my H is living with. She hates the guy friend because she says he does not respect women at all. I have not seen that side of him, really, but haven't know him as long as she has known him. Also, I do know for a fact that this guy friend does drugs and now I am wondering if my H is involved in drugs, too????? He never was with me as I am very anti-drug.<P>I can't tell you what I am feeling right now. I think I am just numb. A couple friends unexpectedly popped in to see me last night and we drank 2 bottles of wine and two blender-fuls of strawberry daquiries and I ate nothing and have a hellacious hangover this morning. Went to bed very early and never did get on-line.<P>I have been up since 3:45 am trying to figure out how to confirm this story. Is my H just out there screwing everything he can get right now?????????<P>I wrote the the lady who told me an e-mail a few minutes ago asking her for more details and how did she find this out? I am also going to call another guy friend and see if he will tell me anything he knows.<P>If this is true, I think it totally changes the picture for me..........<P>Now I am worried about STD's because we were still sleeping together as of 11 weeks and 1 day ago (NOT that I'm counting)......<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

{{{{{{{{{{<B>Desiree</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>I feel so bad for you...<P>I really hope that it is a mistake...some kind of mixup... but... I know never to get my hopes up.<P>Do vent here... and not anywhere else.<P>If it is true... do go for tests right away...<P>We're here... <P>Jim<P>

Desiree,<BR>Just keep breathing...and vent, vent, vent, vent.<BR>Do get checked...at least that can give you some peace of mind. <BR>Hang in there..<BR>Everyone here has a shoulder for you

Hey Desiree,<P>I was feeling funny because Val is ten years younger than I am. Geez 51 and 23. Could be his daughter.<P>I hope that you were concerned before about STD's and not just because of the story you heard yesterday. Not like I have a bunch of friends that are strippers and hold a high office in local government.<P>Maybe it's just plain old simple gossip. I went to a local squads party 12 years ago and heard through the grape vine that I screwed my date on the table in front of everyone. They were known for outragious wild parties. That's funny because we were taking people home that were too FUD to make it on their own. <P>I'm sure that I would have remembered that event. She had the biggest.... brown eyes that I have ever seen.<P>Glad to see you made it through the new year and you typing skills have improved. Shame on you for not having the Magnesium on hand.<P>This is our year.<P>Tim

Desiree,<P>Why is it that when things are looking up, something else kicks us in the gut!!!.<P>My heart goes out to you. I don't have even a clue as what I could say, other than you can always dump here.<P>My NYE went from ok to s!!!y. R left a message syaing that she got our neighbor to watch Abbey, and she was going to watch fireworks w/that F-ing LRB.<P>It's like nothing is sacred to our delusional Ss. I mean last night was our 8th aniversary for petesakes, she spenfs it F-ing that that little mother.....r!!!!!!!!!<P>I tell you there is almost no doubt in my mind she is useing. Steve H. told me it would be virtualy a miracle if she wasn't. He did say that it will make her crash even harder. Ya know in a sick way I hope she really just bursts into flames.<P>You are right she is an <B>idiot</B>.<P>All of our waywards are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>I didn't mean to loose my religion like that on your thread, sometimes it just rool out doesn't it.<P>I did talk to R this morning, I didn't LB even though I wanted to ream her a new a.......! There I go again. Sorry.<P>Do you know how to tell when our wayward spouces are lieing??<P>Their lips are moving...lol<P>I can't remember how to cure a hang over it's been almost four years since I had one. Hey I know call Robin I sure she could tell you...hehehe<P>You really must have been loaded last night. You posted the same thing on my thread 3 times. How did you remember the exact message 3 times...lol<P>Here's a thought. You are a black belt right??<P>Find out what you can sa far as your latest development, if it's true, get the three or them togother and Kung-Fu the living**** out of them. If you still have some aggression left you can drive 3 1/2 hours up I85 and Kung-Fu LRB. His house is right on the interstate. If Robin is there you can even Kung-Fu some sence into her if she gives you any crap...lolol<P>I'm praying for you, hang in there, and dump it all here on our cyber shoulders.<P>In case noone has told they love you today, I do. Thanks for being here when I need it.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Desiree,<P>Why is it that when things are looking up, something else kicks us in the gut!!!.<P>My heart goes out to you. I don't have even a clue as what I could say, other than you can always dump here.<P>My NYE went from ok to s!!!y. R left a message syaing that she got our neighbor to watch Abbey, and she was going to watch fireworks w/that F-ing LRB.<P>It's like nothing is sacred to our delusional Ss. I mean last night was our 8th aniversary for petesakes, she spenfs it F-ing that that little mother.....r!!!!!!!!!<P>I tell you there is almost no doubt in my mind she is useing. Steve H. told me it would be virtualy a miracle if she wasn't. He did say that it will make her crash even harder. Ya know in a sick way I hope she really just bursts into flames.<P>You are right she is an <B>idiot</B>.<P>All of our waywards are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>I didn't mean to loose my religion like that on your thread, sometimes it just rool out doesn't it.<P>I did talk to R this morning, I didn't LB even though I wanted to ream her a new a.......! There I go again. Sorry.<P>Do you know how to tell when our wayward spouces are lieing??<P>Their lips are moving...lol<P>I can't remember how to cure a hang over it's been almost four years since I had one. Hey I know call Robin I sure she could tell you...hehehe<P>You really must have been loaded last night. You posted the same thing on my thread 3 times. How did you remember the exact message 3 times...lol<P>Here's a thought. You are a black belt right??<P>Find out what you can sa far as your latest development, if it's true, get the three or them togother and Kung-Fu the living**** out of them. If you still have some aggression left you can drive 3 1/2 hours up I85 and Kung-Fu LRB. His house is right on the interstate. If Robin is there you can even Kung-Fu some sence into her if she gives you any crap...lolol<P>I'm praying for you, hang in there, and dump it all here on our cyber shoulders.<P>In case noone has told they love you today, I do. Thanks for being here when I need it.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

I hope you don't think I'm drinking since I just posted the same thing twice...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Bill,<P>Are you OK this morning? Wow, I can feel the pain and anger even here in Pennsy.<P>I have to jump in the shower and get pretty. I will check back on you.<P>I can certainly see how that would piss off the Pope.<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

I'm feeling better Tim, now that I got that out.<P>It is kind of funny how predictable our Ss can be once we learn some of the mind set behing this affliction they have.<P>I have to drive to Black Mountain to get a friend from re-hab and take him to a halfway house, so I won't be back until later.<P>I really am feeling better. My resentment has subsided.<P>Didn't mean to comandere your thread Desiree.<P>I think I may learn Kung-Fu my self.<P>I think I would like the idea of LRB knowing I could Bruce Lee his [censored] and there wouldn't be S!!t he could do about it.<P>I really is all I can do not to make targets w/characature of him and put .45 holes in it.<P>Ok Ok, that was the last of my resentment...<P><BR>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

hi rma, I only drop in sometimes now, but felt I should reply to you. First, you should go get a complete check up, blood tests included. Do it asap. You will feel much more secure knowing than wondering. Be sure to followup with the hiv testing at 3 and 6 mos too. <BR>I am not sure why you want to call h's scuzzy friend? That is a reaction, not a good plan. Stop, think, then be proactive. <BR>Keep the goal in mind-I am assuming you want your h to pull his head out, rebuild the marriage? Reread the mb concepts and see where you fit in as far as a plan, then stick to it!! <BR>I can understand your need for confirmation of the stripper, but be smart about it. Hard to stay in control when all seems otherwise around you, but you have to. <BR>Seems to me that your h is into a lot more than he knows how to handle, but you cannot help him with that. Just like bill's wife. You can only help yourself, heal yourself.

OK, I feel better. I have been on the phone this morning and also got a reply from the lady friend.<P>Everybody is saying no about the drugs. This motorcycle club is very small and if something like that was going on with my H, they would know.<P>OK, I also called a guy friend in the club - NOT THE GUY MY H IS LIVING WITH. He told me if he knew anything he wouldn't confirm it, BUT, he told me that he has not seen or heard anything about us, just that we are separated and my H never told him directly. He heard if from another club member. Both him and the lady said that my H has never brought another woman around for any of the club activites and he never speaks about another woman. <P>The lady said she heard once in October that he left me for a 20 something year old stripper. She heard it from one person and never heard it again. The guy friend told me he never heard that (about the stripper) or saw my H with any other woman. He said if he had he wouldn't tell me, he would say things like he wouldn't confirm that.<P>The guy friend said, Desiree, I think I understand what H is going through right now and I am telling you to hold on as long as you can. I think this is just a phase because I went through the same thing and now I am home. He told me to call him anytime I need some support and wants to meet me for coffee one day. I really felt he was being truthful, but my tendency is to trust and believe everyone. But, I have known this guy awhile and he is decent and of good character, which is why I chose to call him of all the people in the club.<P>Both he and the lady said my H has never said anything bad about me, only good things. But, that right now he isn't saying anything about me at all.<P>I am now not sure what to think about any of this???????????????? Will somebody please send in reforcements????????? My brain just leaked out all over the carpet.......<P>Desiree<P>PS I will respond individually in a little bit.<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Roll Me Away (edited January 01, 2000).]

Roll Me Away,<P>I don't think you can believe everything you hear. However, if any of this is true, it just means he will hit rock bottom that much faster.<P>AD

Now I have a few more minutes, so the individual replies:<P><B>Jim,</B><P>I have no idea if this means that it is rumor or if it is a part rumor/part fact. All I know is that I am trying to hang in there and be positive. I will do everything Steve tells me to the letter of the law as best I can as long as I can hold on. I feel OK today. I don't know if this "news" just sent me back to numb or what, but I am not depressed today.<P>I have debated about the STD tests. According to my H his OW has not been promiscuous, but really if she had, would she be likely to tell him she had screwed everything around??? Have others gotten tested? - I know Sheryl did. <P>Thanks for caring, Jim. I need to know that someone cares and I truly appreciate your caring!<P><B>Mitzi,</B><P>Thanks for the shoulder...I might need the other one, too, so keep it handy just in case. Ah, without everyone here I surely would have just curled up and died a long time ago. The holidays bit me in the butt really badly here, and I am sooooo glad they are now over! Did you get tested, if that is not too personal to ask???<P><B>Tim,</B><P>Gosh, my posts on Bill's thread last night were hilarious!! I can't tell you how much I drank and giggled with my friends. I didn't even remember getting back on-line...Good thing I was home with some of the kids after my friends left! I probably would have gotten into trouble if I had been out!<P>I do hope this is rumor and nothing else.....<P>Tim, LOL, you had me cracking up there about those big brown eyes!! Well, I've got big brown eyes, too, and that's it! Just big brown <I>eyes</I> and nothing else! HAHAHAHA!! Yes, I am sure you would have remembered boinking a date in front of a crowd. HAHAHAHA!!!! Man, your dates are a LOT more fun than any dates I ever had! HMPF! Might need to get some tips one day... <P><B>Bill,</B><P>Sorry your anniversary was ruined <P>What can I say??? LRB is just that...the greasy, rotten little creep. I would LOVE to beat his little @ss up! I have my second degree in Tae Kwon Do and it is a big KICKING sport - I'd love to kick more than just his @ss right now OHHHH, just thinking about it puts a <B>HUGE</B> smile on my face!!!! HMMM, come to think of it, I don't have any plans for next weekend, either.......3 1/2 hrs, that's all????? <P>I am sorry about R using again. It was the only real connection to LRB that made any sense. It is a shame that she will have to hit bottom again before coming up. But, you know the routine there...SUCKS! <P>Keep with whatever Steve tells you. I have no idea how we will all end up, Bill. All I can tell you is we are all doing the very best we can with our little imperfect selves. I think everybody here is damn nice and I respect everyone here so damn much for just having the guts to face themselves, find themselves lacking in some way and be able to say "I will try to improve myself in whatever ways I can." How can anyone be any greater than that as a human?????? <P>And, I appreciate you telling me you love me. No one has said that but my kids do tell me all the time. Even the kid living with us tells me that. Their girlfriends, too, so I can't be all bad. But, it is nice to hear another ADULT say it and mean it and I know that you do from the bottom of your heart. And, I love you, too, Bill. <P>Oh, don't worry about venting on my thread...be my guest. But, I do need someone to shoot with...too inexperienced to go to the range by myself. I was thinking of asking the guys there if they could help me, but don't know if they do that or not.<P><B>cl,</B><P>Thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. I am thinking about the tests...just haven't wanted to deal with one more thing. I don't really know what to believe in all this, anymore.... <P><B>AD,</B><P>Thanks for your support. I hope my H hits rock bottom soon, because I feel like I am already there most of the time, if you know what I mean. I am SO glad 1999 is over - THE YEAR FROM HELL!!!! I made my New Years resolution...to become the happy and satisfied person I once was. I just don't know in what form that will happen - single or reunited with my H. But, right now, my challenge is my <B>attitude</B>! I gotta think and position myself "happy" and then happiness will follow. It is all in the mind, because I can be happy no matter how this all ends if I really want it...and I DO!<P>Thanks guys,<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<P><BR>[This message has been edited by Roll Me Away (edited January 01, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Roll Me Away (edited January 01, 2000).]

No, I haven't been tested yet. H assures me that he used a condom everytime. But when you're drunk you don't always do the right thing. And she's the type that would carry a disease too. Always sleeping with at least 2 guys at the same time. She is with my H and he won't hear it. Guess he needs to see for himself. He's so stupid.

Desiree -<P>Gotta tell ya - don't listen to rumors... unless they are about OW *snerk* No, really, you have to set your sights on what you believe in, and if you truly LOVE your H, all the crap you hear will shock you at first and then roll off your back. Believe me - I've been through more than a couple instances of "shockingly bad news" ... probably my threads related to some of them have been deleted in the great purge, but believe me some of the rumors have been very hurtful - and, perhaps even true. But when I've sat down and thought about it, the rumors/facts don't affect how I feel about the man I love.<P>Recognize that your H is NOT the same person you love and cherish right now. Or, at least, as K always suggests, think of him as sick right now. The rumors cannot hurt you then, because the healthy person you love is not the person doing (or not, as the case may be) these things you are hearing about.<P>And feel free to email me anytime, 'kay?<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

<B>Mitzi,</B><P>Yeah...stupid and idiotic, too! I think our H's are clones!!!!! <P><B>terri,</B><P>Oh, I'd love to get some dirt on the oW. Really, everything I know about her is what my H told me because she lives in another state. He told me she was't attractive (and I saw her pictures - TRUE) and all about her massive credit card debt - UNBELIEVEABLE AMOUNT!!!! But, he has also said nice things about her too (do I have to believe THOSE things if I don't wanna???). YUCK!!<P>Ok, I am going to try to remember. I have alot to remember - I will try to be good.<P>Thanks for reminding me to think of him as "sick", because I really do think that. That is a large part of what keeps me hanging in.<P>I will e-mail you later...going to dinner at the neighbors in a bit.<P>Thanks, Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

RMA-<P>Well, I must agree w/ the others. Don't believe anything right now. Don't believe rumors, don't believe your H, just believe in you!!<P>You are a great woman, w/ a tremendous amount of strenth, even if you don't see that right now. You have great compassion and love.<P>If it will make you feel better, get tested. I did! I think that was the worst part of all of this. SUCKS!<P>I'm praying for you and for God to open your H eyes SOON!<P>Do like your freind suggested, hang on as long as you can.<P>Hugs-<P>Cheryl

RMA<P>Do get tested! It only takes one time for either of them. When I first found out about of ew's affair that was the first thing I told her was to get tested. She said thsi was the first time om had done this. Then when they broke up she told me he had had 3-4 affairs. I told her again to get tested. I think she did but she never gave me the results. I have been tested twice with nothing showing.<P>It probably is a rumor about the stripper. My ew said all kinds of rumors are floating around the hospital about her and 2-3 doctors. My neighbors have even confirmed the rumors too, but that is all they are .<P>You know how those things get around.<P>Bob

Desiree,<P>I don't know for sure if R is using or not, I don't see how she isn't. Ya know if you go to the beauty parlor long enough you'll get your hair done.<P>Go to the shooting range I'm sure the range master would be happy to help you. There is something about a woman with a gun that... I won't go there. Ask if they are offering any cocealed carry classes, I think Ga. has concealed carry laws. They will teach you everything about firearm saftey and defence.<P>Damn, you be really bed then, a 2nd degree blachbelt packing heat. LRB watch out...hehehe<P>Your never far from my thoughts and prayers.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Hi Desiree,<P>Just finished sending you an EMail. Now, I'm reading your post. I agree with what everyone here is saying. Don't go off the deep end over rumors. People love to embellish and sensationalize. I was thrilled to read your resolution this year is to be HAPPY! Good job!!